Jen Glantz is a “Professional Bridesmaid” and the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire. She’s the author of All My Friends Are Engaged and frequently wears old bridesmaid dresses to the grocery store and on first dates. For her Brides.com column, Jen is here to give some expert advice to her fellow ‘maids!

It’s a little known fact that the task of preparing the tequila shots and finding the thong-wearing strippers falls on the lap (almost literally) and the wallet of the bridesmaids. This is high up on their priority list and a night out that they’ll get to plan for the bride. But once that is taken care of and the travel arrangements have been made and a weekend cabana in a tropical city has been booked, who takes care of the rest?

The main question bridesmaid’s begin to ask themselves, after the dress is ordered and the bachelorette party plans are in the books, is who is responsible for putting together the bridal shower?

Often times this duty can be split amongst a couple of people in the bridal party, whether it’s the mother of the bride and the groom, the sisters of the bride and the groom, or even the aunts. Family members should have the first opportunity to snag the responsibility of planning this. There are times when family members aren’t available to plan this, and in this case, bridesmaids and the bridal party may step in and take over. It’s important that the maid of honor stays in contact with the bride and the bride’s family members about this early on in the wedding planning process. That way everyone knows who is doing what and there is no overlap or fall through on the planning responsibilities.

Even if the bride’s family is planning the shower, it’s still okay for the bridesmaids to offer to help and plan some of the games or even the decorations. Often times the bridesmaids are the best people to help make the shower come alive with the personality and preference of the bride, so their help is truly needed and greatly appreciated by the bride.