Nobody teaches you how to be a bridesmaid.

So, you truly can’t blame yourself when you bring lingerie to a bridal shower or wait a month before the wedding to order your bridesmaid dress.

I’m guilty of doing both when I started out. I’m also pretty guilty of not doing the 5 things below.

Avoid the blisters, the crying bride, and the “I’ll never be a bridesmaid again” attitude by doing some of these tips:

1. Clean out the ‘Travel size toiletries’ section at CVS:

Load up a hand-held cart with Band-Aids, bobby pins, Advil, mints, Tide-to-Go, a lint roller, baby wipes and coffee filters (they are the ultimate for clearing sweat off your face without taking your makeup off). Pack them all in a mini-tote bag that you can carry around with you or put them in a fanny pack and pass it around the wedding party. You’ll need these items when you least expect them – and you’ll need them quick: the morning of the wedding—the morning after the wedding, when your feet all ripped up and your dress is showing off a giant marinara sauce stain to the whole world.

2. Don’t ask the bride “What can I do to help”

Chances are the bride has a to-do list that resembles the grocery list of a family of nine. So instead of asking a general, “What can I do to help?” Offer to help her in an area that you’re really good at. Maybe you’re a speech-writing Rockstar and can help her put some words down on the page for her vows. Or perhaps you’re good at making boring situations fun and can help her mail out her invitations or write thank you notes after her bridal shower.

3. Walk a mile in your bridesmaid shoes

If you’re wearing brand new shoes with your bridesmaid dress, please (pretty please) wear them beforehand. And I’m not talking about wearing them around your house for 15 minutes. Wear them out to a fancy dinner one night or perhaps to the bridal shower or the bachelorette party.

The first time I was ever a bridesmaid, I wore these shoes:

Which were terrible for two reasons:

1. They are totally not bridesmaid appropriate
2. I had never worn them before and all of a sudden, in the middle of the ceremony, I lost all feeling in my toes. My feet were like, “You have got to be kidding. We are not down to be squished into a pointy-toed shoe like this.” And so, I slowly started to take them off – while standing in front of everyone, watching the bride say “Ido.”

Pick a pair of heels that you can waddle in for at least 45 minutes comfortably. Then, get yourself a pair of these so you can break it down on the dance floor.

4. Call a different complaint line

If the bridesmaid dress the bride picked out makes you look like a protruding cupcake or you’re going to be a half hour late to the bridal shower, chat with the maid-of-honor (or professional bridesmaid) instead. The bride has so much going on and wants everything to go smoothly and everyone to be happy. If you’re not happy with something, try to talk it out with someone else first – before approaching the bride with a sassy attitude.

5. There’s a reason why you’re doing this

Being a bridesmaid can be a thousand different things. It can be stressful, exciting, exhausting, expensive, and sometimes a friendship roadblock. That’s never how it should be.

If you find yourself frustrated by being a bridesmaid, take a step back and remember why you are doing it.

Friendship is one of the most flawed, yet beautiful things. Our friends are the people who make our hearts flutter and sometimes even ache. I’ve never seen a friendship that didn’t get a couple of blisters every now and then. Remember to give the bride her moment, at times her space, and above anything else – your ears to listen to her whenever she needs it.

Be there for her, a bit extra, during her crazy wedding adventure – just like she’s been there for you again, and again, and again.

All my love,

Jen Glantz