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11 Tips For a Bridesmaid to Meet Guys at a Wedding

*This post is a guest post written by: Mindy Kipling* Weddings are a great place to meet guys and as one of the bridesmaids, you’re in luck. It might be the bride’s big day but any guy looking to meet someone isn’t paying attention to her. He’s keeping his eye on those who are still available.

How to make the most of your time as a bridesmaid

Being a bridesmaid means you’re in focus all day long. Standing at the front of the gathering where wandering eyes can easily check you out. You’re in great form – hopefully in a great dress but definitely with good hair and makeup. Friends surround you and everyone is smiling and laughing. Of course, you’ve been the perfect bridesmaid all day long. This is why bridesmaids are usually regarded as the highlight of the wedding for single guys. But you shouldn’t take your position for granted. You still need to put in the work if you want to strike it lucky. If your objective is to find a cute, young guy — This is the easiest shot at it. So, below we’ve compiled some tips to help you make the most of the big day.

1)   Do your research

Before the wedding, once all the responses are back you can begin to make inquiries. Perhaps you know the groom’s friends and have your eye on someone already. If this is the case, don’t be shy about asking the bride for her opinion – she probably knows them better. If you’re going to spend the wedding throwing glances in one particular direction, it’s best to make sure the target is worth landing on. Fortunately for you, weddings are one of the absolute best places for older women looking for younger men to find success. If the bride doesn’t think he’s as good as he looks, you can trust her to be honest about it. After all, she’s already got hers. So now it’s time to move on to the rest of the group. Even if you don’t know the groom’s side of the party, a heads-up regarding who’s single and who’s not will be a big help.

2)   Keep your options open

However, not every bride has the time or the inclination to help her friends find dates on her big day. If this is the case, you’ll need to go in cold and keep an open mind. Before the wedding, remind yourself to check out all the guests before you begin to flirt. You don’t need to worry about not pouncing on the best guy right away. He’s not the bouquet – and that’s not how this works. Even if you look the other way a couple of times, this can play to your advantage. Acting a little aloof does wonders for a younger guy’s appetite. If he thinks he needs to make an effort to get your attention, he’ll only want you all the more.

3)   Forget the “Spanx” and make sure your shoes are comfortable

It’s tempting in the run-up to a wedding to obsess over every little lump and bump. Even if you’re not the bride, hitting the gym a few extra times before Saturday is almost standard behavior. However, once the day arrives, you’ll need to harness a relaxed frame of mind and this goes for clothing too. Opting for those spiked heels might have made you feel tall and slim at the bridal store. But after eight hours, you’ll keel over. The same goes for your Spanx. And if you do happen to hook up, you’ll be left trying to peel them off in the bathroom and explain away the lines and stripes too.

4)   Be firm on your dress

Yes, it is her wedding – But that doesn’t mean you have to wear anything the bride wants. If you find the suggested dress unflattering to you, your skin tone or body shape, say something. Because making sure you look good in your bridesmaid’s dress is key to meeting a younger guy at a wedding. It’s also a good idea to have different colored dresses, for example in a range of pastels and neutral tones. That way, if he knows you’re in pastel beige, you’ll be easier to spot in a crowd.

5)   Make eye contact

Once you’ve scoped out a possible target, it’s time to make a move. Eye contact is the most straightforward way to do this. While standing in your bridesmaid’s line, let your gaze drift to the rest of the congregation. When you find him, linger a moment. We can often feel someone looking at us and this makes people look back. When he does, hold your glance for a second and then look away at nothing in particular. A little lip bite can be a good way of saying, “I’ve been found out”. Now wait a few seconds and look back again, but only for a short time. If he’s looking, give a little smile. If he’s not, look away again. Within a few moments, he’ll be tempted to look your way once more. This isn’t just good advice for weddings but for everyday life. Everywhere an older woman looking for a younger man is at, eye contact will be key.

6)   See and be seen

Mingling is the keyword here. Directly after the ceremony, once the bride and groom leave, start moving around to say hello to as many different people as you can. This time is precious as this is when many guys get their first, natural look at the bridesmaids. So if you’ve already had a little eye contact, this time builds on any possible attraction.

7)   Hang out with the girls

Just like you, if a guy sees someone he likes, one of the first questions on his lips is whether or not they’re single. He could ask you, but many guys, especially younger ones are a little embarrassed to do so. The best way to make sure he gets the message is to show it in your behavior. This means, hanging out with the girls and not sitting next to a guy you know well – or an ex – just because you feel comfortable around them. Anytime a guy sees you sitting next to another guy, he assumes he’s your partner or a date.

8)   Get up and boogie

Once the wedding meal is out of the way, it’s time to burn off some calories and draw attention to yourself. The best way to show yourself off at a wedding is by dancing. Most parties have a good mix of music suited to kids and families as well as couples and wild singles. Pace yourself, dance a couple and sit down for a few to talk to people. You want to be seen, but not because you’re dripping with sweat.

9)   Don’t get wasted

It should go without saying, moderation is key regarding the reception champagne. You want to be relaxed but not so relaxed it impairs your judgment. A few drinks can really help you when it comes to talking to strangers. But there’s a fine line. Weddings are usually an all-day event and you need to go steady if you’re going to last until the evening. If you have a couple of drinks during lunch, cut yourself off afterward until the sun goes down. This way you’ll stay level-headed enough to continue your flirting agenda.

10)  Know your intentions and your limits

Weddings are intensely emotional events and as such, you can get carried away too easily. Before the ceremony even starts, decide for yourself how far tonight’s going to go. Even if you haven’t met the guy yet, this is a good tactic. Tell yourself up front if you’re looking for a flirt, a date, a kiss or something more. It can be hard to decide in the moment and after a few glasses of bubbly. If you do decide you’re going all out, make sure you have cash and battery power so you can get home safely afterward. Don’t forget, 100 percent at 10 a.m. can quickly turn into 3 percent after all those wedding photos. Also, have a wing-girl ready – someone who expects to be told where you’re going and with whom.

11)  Avoid the toad

At every wedding, there’s a guy whose only aim is to sleep with any one of the bridesmaids. We get it, bridesmaids are hot – that’s part of the fun. But we don’t want to be a number in anyone’s hook-up book. However, working out who this guy is, isn’t always that easy. He might start off being really cute and endearing. But by the time the curtain starts to fall, he’ll be going from bridesmaid to bridesmaid trying his luck. This guy makes every woman feel pretty worthless, but if you’ve flirted with him earlier – cutting him loose when he shows his true colors can be a headache. The classic signs of the wedding toad are obvious once you know them. His first move will be to try to get you drunk. One shot is funny but trying to get you to drink three is just weird. Too many flirty jokes and questions about whether or not you’re sharing a room with anyone is also a big give away. And of course, if he’s hitting on everyone, give him a wide berth. But if you do find yourself the target of the toad, don’t panic. Maybe a couple of hopeful glances in the direction of your intended will bring him over and lead to something more romantic.