There’s a good chance the person you asked to be your maid-of-honor is someone you trust, respect and have a really close friendship with. They may have been your go-to person for years or just someone you felt you could call when everything in your world was crackling into tiny pieces. So when you asked them to be your maid-of-honor and stand by your side before your wedding and also while you are up at the altar saying “I Do”, you probably imagined they would know exactly what to do.

Nobody teaches you how to be a rockstar maid-of-honor. It’s a role some of us are lucky to take on once or twice in our lifetimes and often times, we are so excited to do it that we don’t even know where to start. Sometimes, too, we are too busy to do it and things we are supposed to handle or even plan fall through the cracks.

It’s important to know that your maid-of-honor can’t read your mind, so it’s possible she doesn’t know what you want or need done. If your maid-of-honor isn’t being there for you or stepping up and taking the lead on planning things, communicate with her. Sit down with a cup of coffee or a bottle of wine and let her know what you’d like her to take care of. If she expresses that she’s too busy or needs some extra help, turn to other members of the bridal party and see if they can help her out and keep her on track with everything.

Try not to let the wedding adventure ruin your friendship. Instead, try to be understanding and remember, most things can be solved with an honest in-person conversation.