The relationship between a bride and her bridesmaids is one that can go as dashingly well as quickly as it can turn painfully ugly. The wedding adventure is accessorized by lots of time, energy, money, and stress. All the members of the wedding party feel it. That’s why I reached out to Lindsey and Lilly – a bride and her bridesmaid – about what kinds of things they wish all brides and bridesmaids knew for  future weddings – so that the day of can feel like the blissful fairytale it’s truly meant to be.

Let’s start with the bride, Lindsey.

 

1. Your wedding day is surprisingly relaxing.

After all of the stress and preparation leading up to the wedding, when the day actually comes, you’re calm, cool, and collected. I had 8 bridesmaids getting their hair and makeup done so it was a long day hanging out in the bridal suite, drinking champagne, listening to music, and laughing.

2. Nothing can prepare you for the amount of attention you will get.

Everyone will want to take their picture with you, tell you how beautiful you look, and “oohhh and awww”  over you, while your new hubby enjoys the delicious dinner you chose during your food tasting. It’s unavoidable. Put a smile on your face and find new ways to say “Thank You”.

3. If you don’t want to do a first look, don’t feel like you have to.

Photographers LOVE to convince couples to do a first look because it makes life easier on them. If you’re like me, and want your hubby-to-be to see you for the first time as you walk down the aisle, then make it happen. We took our pictures after the ceremony and had more than enough time to enjoy our cocktail hour. Send your photographer a desired shot list beforehand, and there is no reason you can’t enjoy an appetizer or two with your guests during cocktail hour.

4. Have your hair and makeup team stay after the ceremony for pictures.

I can’t stress this advice enough. We had Hot Pink Style do our hair and makeup. Not only did they do a phenomenal job, they stayed to make sure everyone looked perfect for photos. They were the only people that could figure out how to bustle my dress, and even powdered my husband’s nose when the heat was getting the best of him.

5. Take your husband and leave your reception.

I know, it sounds crazy, but you’ll thank me. Our photographer grabbed us to take a couple of pictures by ourselves during the reception. At first, we were a little annoyed, but there was a motive behind this madness, we needed it! With the exception of our photographer, Mario Munoz being there, it was the first moment we had alone together all day. We just reflected, laughed and relaxed. The photos captured from this moment are some of our favorites!

 

The bride had some great tips, but what did her bridesmaid, Lilly, have to say?

1. Get your dress altered even if you don’t think you need to!

For Lindsey’s bridesmaid dress, I tried it on, stood on my tippy toes, and ‘it fit’. No, it didn’t. The dress was ten times longer than I thought; luckily it wasn’t very noticeable with my shoes on, however by the end of the night the aftermath showed. To the dry cleaner it went!

2. Be a calming presence for the bride.

Lindsey had a big wedding party of 8 girls, which made it so much fun, but there were a lot of personalities that could have brought stress upon any bride. Luckily, we all knew that a calm wedding party made a happy bride. Lindsey was a great bride, however, I have been in some weddings where the bride gets very antsy/ anxious the day of. I think it is definitely a bridesmaid’s duty to make sure that there is everyday conversation going on throughout the day.

3. Even though the bridal shower is normally the duty of the maid of honor, it’s an extremely crucial part of the entire wedding process. 

Whether you’re close with the maid of honor or not, be there in any way you can. It’s important to listen to your instincts on what you know about the bride. Some brides like to have games at their shower, but Lindsey was not one of those brides. We listened to exactly what she wanted, which made for a very happy bride at the end of the day. We drank, took pictures, mingled, and drank some more. It turned into a really fun party!

4. Take charge behind the scenes.

Know the order of the wedding party for the processional, recessional, and who you are walking with. Your walking partner may or may not be hammered by the start of the ceremony, so it’s important to be on your game. Another thing, I remember watching Lindsey pose for pictures with her family, and noticing that her train was bunched up; I stopped the photo and stepped in to lay it out perfectly. Most photographers have an eye for those little details, but not all, be sure you’re there to help to make sure things run smoothly.

5. Be the best friend you are, you were chosen as a bridesmaid for a reason.

Let the bride vent and have her bridezilla moments when she needs to. Having all of the attention on you can be extremely draining, which can start to mess with a brides head. When she asks for your opinion, be honest and don’t worry about offending them. They will thank you for being that voice of reason later. This is something I really treasure about my friendship with Lindsey, we are always honest with each other. She would come to me with her ideas because she knew I would tell her the truth.

 

The Bride:

 

The Bridesmaid:

Lilly is a former 5 year veteran and Captain of the Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders. During her time as a cheerleader, Lilly was featured in Maxim three times and debuted in an episode of Louis CK, as well as traveled on 5 Military tours performing for the troops. Lilly is one of the Co-Founders of LLScene.