When you’re a bridesmaid, you may start to notice that suddenly the bride, who was once a good friend of yours or a close member of your family, seems to have turned into the ultimate, non-stop, Pinterest obsessed wedding planner, sending you a list of requests, events to be at, and things to buy. Some things, like purchasing the bridesmaid dress or trying to make it to the bachelorette party are expected, where as others, like chipping in $100 each to fund the bridal shower or buying a pair of $250 shoes to wear underneath a long chiffon dress that no one will ever see, are frustrating.

 

Like you would your friend, or family member, it’s perfectly okay to say no to the bride. But before doing so, try to understand her request and come up with a solution. If she wants you to shell out more money than you can afford to attend her European bachelorette party, let her know you’ll make it up to her by planning a night out, for the two of you, when she gets back home. If she’s asking you to take care of a grocery list of tasks, without asking you beforehand if you have the time or budget to do so, pull her aside and let her know you’re happy to help with what you can and reach out to the bridal party to see if they can pick up the rest.

Wedding planning makes everyone go a little coo-coo, so before saying the big NO! take a step back and see how you can compromise, how you can salvage your friendship with a couple of solutions.