Dear Jen,

I’m bringing my brand new boyfriend to a good friend’s wedding next month. She told me I could bring a plus one and I’m really excited to bring someone with me. But I have never brought someone with me before – so I don’t know how it works. Does he have to bring a gift? Do I give a gift on behalf of us both? If so, how much? As I’m writing this, I’m starting to stress myself out over the cost of bringing someone with me.

 

Sincerely,

Plus One Problems

 

My mother always told me that you should never show up to a party empty-handed. So I would always plan to bring something to a friend’s birthday or housewarming or going away party. But when I started going to wedding after wedding as a bridesmaid, the concept of gift giving became very expensive and unclear to me too. The age old rule of not showing up empty handed still applies, for both you and your date. Of course your date may not know the bride and groom as well as you do, but they are still coming with you to their party of a lifetime. Your date is still there to dance the night away and stick their fork into a meaty piece of steak and celebrate this remarkable occasion. So have a chat with your date before to decide what kind of gift you would both like to give – whether it’s a joint check or something you purchased off the registry. If this bride is a close friend of yours, you may want to give your own gift and have your date bring something smaller or less expensive.