Dear Maid of Honor,

What a job you have! Every single wedding is different and so is every maid of honor role. You might be leading a bridal party of 10 or you might be the only person picked to stand by the bride’s side.. Either way, you’re not just a best friend in a bridesmaid dress. You are someone’s support system, their sidekick, their party planner, their unofficial therapist, and often their peacekeeper.

It’s an unforgettable experience but it can also be quite overwhelming.

Whether you’ve been a maid of honor a dozen times or it’s your very first time, I want to help kick the stress and hard work out of the job for you.

As the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire, I’ve been a maid of honor and bridesmaid hundreds of times. Which means I have SO many go-to resources, tools, and tricks that I use all of the time. I wanted to share all of them with you so that you have a playbook to turn to whenever you need it.

As you scroll through the book, if there’s anything missing or you have any questions, please say hello.

You’ve got someone’s back right now and I’ve got yours.

So let’s dive in, maid of honor. Welcome to your playbook.

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The Maid of Honor Speech 

It can feel like there’s a lot of pressure on you as a maid of honor to write a memorable and engaging speech. You want to capture the audience’s attention and make the couple feel loved. But writing a maid of honor speech that’s funny or sweet can be a tough task. Without realizing it, a maid of honor speech is a gift that you’re giving the couple. It’s something they will remember forever. So if you have writer’s block or a fear of public speaking, dive into the tips below for help.

Quick maid of honor speech tips:

• The maid of honor speech isn’t just for the bride. It’s for the entire audience. Write the speech for them and make sure they are included in it. Skip inside joke or complicated stories.
• Shorter speeches that have clear memories, stories, and details are better than longer speeches that people can’t follow. Aim for a speech that’s under 4-minutes in length.
• Start early. This will help you.

Let’s write your maid of honor speech 

• First, spend 20-minutes doing a memory brainstorm.
  •  Look at old photos, text messages, social media posts, and ask friends/family to help you gather a list of memories. 
  • Jot down memorable stories, times the person was there for you, how you’d describe your friendship, the first impression you had of their partner, and any other key-details you want to include in the speech. 
• This tool takes you from brainstorm to speech in just a few minutes. 
  • It lets you select a length for your speech and also a tone 
  • Then it asks you personalized questions so you can know exactly what details and memories to think of for the speech. 
  • Using your responses, it writes up a fully custom and personalized speech for you.
  • You can make unlimited edits or ask for changes and the tool incorporates the feedback instantly. 
  • It’s great for someone with writer’s block or someone who wants a memorable speech written for them instantly. 

Public speaking tips 

• Once you have your speech in hand, practice it out loud as many times as possible. Since you’ll likely have a microphone in one hand and the paper speech (or your phone) in the other, practice like that. Hold a pen in one hand and the speech in the other hand so you can get a feel for how it will be on the wedding day.
• Body language hacks: keep your chin up (it helps you sound less nervous), pause between paragraphs for 3-seconds, and read the speech slower than you normally would speak. Remember this is the first time the audience is hearing the speech. The slower you go, the more they will be able to understand the speech.
• There’s a public speaking video course that comes with the tool. It’s really an awesome course to help you boost your speaking confidence before the big day. 

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Scripts to Use as a Maid of Honor 

As you’re preparing to take on such an exciting role, you might find yourself being in charge of a lot of email or text message chains with the bridal party. I’m excited to share some scripts below that you can copy and paste or edit to make them your own. One of the best ways to support the person getting married is to help with communication and making sure everyone is on the same page. These scripts can help you do that!

Let’s dive into those scripts here. 

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Maid of Honor To-Do List

There are a lot of tasks you’ll take on as a maid of honor. I’m sharing with you a giant to-do list for a maid of honor to follow. Go through and see which tasks apply to your maid of honor role. Make edits, confirm with the bride, and then you’ll have an official game plan to follow as you stand by that person’s side during their wedding adventure.

12 Months Before the Wedding:

1. Discuss Expectations: Have a heart-to-heart conversation with the bride to understand her vision, preferences, and expectations for the wedding. Share any concerns you have (money, time, common arguments you two have, etc.) and ask questions. Don’t be scared to be transparent. You’re about to take on a hefty role. Lead with honesty.
2. Set a Budget: Work with the bride and other bridesmaids to establish a budget for various wedding-related events and expenses. Make sure everyone is on the same page about how much things will cost and alternatives for people who can’t spend the money on certain items or experiences. Be inclusive.
3. Help with Venue Selection: Assist the bride in researching and visiting potential wedding venues.
4. Compile Guest List: Collaborate with the bride to create a preliminary guest list. Help with figuring out a guest list for the bridal shower and bachelorette party.
5. Organize Bridal Party: Coordinate with the bridesmaids to ensure they are aware of their roles and responsibilities. Ask each person how they’d like to help or one skill they have that can help out the entire bridal party. For example, if Jackie is really good at negotiating prices, perhaps she can contact vendors for the bachelorette party to help get costs down.

10 Months Before the Wedding:

1. Assist with Theme and Style: Support the bride in choosing a wedding theme, colors, and overall style.
2. Research Vendors: Begin researching and contacting potential vendors for catering, photography, music, flowers, etc. Ask to do some of the heavy lifting when it comes to research. It will really help!
3. Plan Engagement Party: Work with other bridesmaids to plan and host an engagement party for the couple. This is completely optional but something to ask the bride. You don’t need to pay for this but you can ask to help coordinate.

8 Months Before the Wedding:

1. Attend Dress Shopping: Accompany the bride to select her wedding dress and offer opinions.
2. Plan Bridal Shower: Offer to help organize and host a memorable bridal shower with the input of the bride. You don’t have to pay for this and should not if you can’t afford to. But you can run ideas by the bride and see who else wants to join in on the planning and payment of the shower.
3. Coordinate Bachelorette Party: Plan a fun and memorable bachelorette party in line with the bride’s preferences.

4 Months Before the Wedding:

1. Plan Rehearsal Dinner: Assist in planning and coordinating the rehearsal dinner with input from the couple. Help plan the logistics.
2. Assist with Invitations: Help address and send out wedding invitations.
3. Organize Transportation: Offer to help with arranging transportation for the bridal party on the wedding day.

2 Months Before the Wedding:

1. Finalize Details: Confirm all arrangements with vendors and finalize the wedding day timeline. If the bride has a planner or day-of coordinator, chat with them to see how you can help.
2. Plan Toasts and Speeches: Work on a heartfelt toast or speech for the rehearsal dinner and wedding reception. Use this to help you.
3. Confirm Attire: Ensure the bridesmaids have their dresses and accessories ready. Offer to help if they need help finding shoes or accessories.

1 Month Before the Wedding:

1. Attend Final Fittings: Accompany the bride to her final dress fitting and ensure all alterations are complete.
2. Create Emergency Kit: Assemble an emergency kit with essential items for the wedding day.
3. Coordinate Seating: Assist the bride in finalizing seating arrangements for the ceremony and reception.

1 Week Before the Wedding:

1. Confirm Final Details: Reconfirm all arrangements with vendors and address any last-minute concerns. Check in with wedding planner or day-of coordinator
2. Support the Bride: Provide emotional support and help alleviate any pre-wedding jitters. Send a nice thoughtful message or gift to kick-off the week.
3. Collect Decorations: Gather and organize any decorations or personal items needed for the ceremony and reception.
4. Practice Your Speech: Spend quality time making sure you’re comfortable giving your toast.

On the Wedding Day:

1. Assist Getting Ready: Help the bride and bridesmaids get dressed and ready for the day.
2. Coordinate Activities: Ensure smooth transitions between ceremony, reception, and photo sessions.
3. Offer Emotional Support: Be there for the bride, offering support and assistance as needed.
4. Carry Belongings: Offer to carry the bride’s purse or belongings so she can be hands free
5. Help With it All: Take the bride to the bathroom, grab her food so she can eat, hold the bottom of her dress so it stays clean, hold her flowers, and help with any pop-up problems that happen.

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Bachelorette Party Themes 

If you’re not sure what kind of bachelorette party the bride is in the mood for, suggest some of the themes below. That way, you can use her feedback and direction to narrow down some potential options.

Themes:

1. Destination Getaway: Plan a trip to a favorite destination, whether it’s a beach resort, a charming city, or a cozy cabin in the woods.
2. Boho Chic: Embrace a relaxed and bohemian vibe with flower crowns, dreamcatchers, and earthy décor.
3. Cruise to the Coast: Have a nautical-themed party with a cruise, sailing, or beachside celebration.
4. Glamour and Glitz: Roll out the red carpet and indulge in a night of luxury with formal attire, sparkling decorations, and sophisticated venues.
5. Wine and Paint Night: Combine creativity and wine tasting by hosting a paint and sip party
6. Vintage Hollywood: Transport your group to the golden age of Hollywood with vintage glamour and classic movie themes.
7. Outdoor Adventure: Go camping, hiking, or engage in outdoor activities like kayaking or zip-lining.
8. Pampered Retreat: Treat the bride to a spa day, complete with massages, facials, and relaxation.
9. Around the Clock: Each guest represents a different time of day, from morning yoga to late-night dancing.
10. Sports Spectacular: Attend a live sports event, participate in a group fitness class, or have a sports-themed party.
11. Karaoke Party: Sing your hearts out with a night of karaoke, costumes, and laughter.
12. Craft and Cocktails: Combine crafting with mixology for a fun and creative evening.
13. Retro Roller Skating: Go back in time with a roller skating party featuring funky outfits and music from decades past.
14. Carnival Extravaganza: Rent a fairground or host a carnival-inspired party with games, treats, and whimsical décor.
15. Garden Tea Party: Have an elegant tea party in a garden setting, complete with vintage china and dainty treats.
16. Rustic Barn Bash: Host a rustic and charming barn party with country-inspired decorations and activities.
17. Mystery Escape Room: Solve puzzles and unravel mysteries together in an escape room adventure.
18. Glow-in-the-Dark Dance Party: Light up the night with neon décor, glow sticks, and a dance floor.
19. Beach Bonfire Bash: Relax by the beach with a bonfire, s’mores, and a laid-back atmosphere.
20. Casino Night: Roll the dice with casino games and create a high-energy gambling experience.
21. Superhero Soiree: Dress up as superheroes and have a themed party celebrating the bride’s strength and courage.
22. Cooking Class: Learn to cook a gourmet meal with a professional chef or take a cooking class together.
23. Space Odyssey: Embark on an intergalactic adventure with space-themed decorations and activities.
24. Art Gallery Tour: Visit art galleries, museums, or host an art-inspired event to celebrate creativity.
25. Tropical Paradise: Bring the beach to you with tropical décor, cocktails, and a laid-back vibe.
26. Fairy Tale Fantasy: Embrace the bride’s favorite fairy tale or storybook theme for a whimsical celebration.
27. DIY Spa Day: Create your own spa experience with homemade masks, scrubs, and relaxation.
28. Retro Arcade Fun: Enjoy a blast from the past with arcade games, nostalgic décor, and friendly competition.

Bachelorette Party Locations:

1. Las Vegas, Nevada: The ultimate destination for a party, with its vibrant nightlife, casinos, and entertainment options.
2. Miami, Florida: Enjoy the beach, nightlife, and trendy restaurants in this lively city.
3. Nashville, Tennessee: Known for its country music scene and vibrant honky-tonk bars.
4. New Orleans, Louisiana: Experience the lively atmosphere of the French Quarter with its music, food, and culture.
5. New York City, New York: A bustling city with endless options for dining, shopping, and entertainment.
6. Charleston, South Carolina: A charming and historic city with southern hospitality and beautiful architecture.
7. Austin, Texas: Famous for its live music, food trucks, and outdoor activities.
8. Chicago, Illinois: Explore the city’s museums, nightlife, and iconic landmarks.
9. Scottsdale, Arizona: Enjoy upscale resorts, spas, and outdoor adventures in the desert.
10. Palm Springs, California: Relax by the pool, enjoy spa treatments, and experience the desert oasis.
11. San Diego, California: Beautiful beaches, nightlife, and a laid-back California vibe.
12. Key West, Florida: A tropical paradise with water activities, colorful houses, and vibrant nightlife.
13. Asheville, North Carolina: Nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains, known for its artsy scene and craft breweries.
14. Savannah, Georgia: Quaint streets, historic charm, and southern hospitality make for a unique experience.
15. Montreal, Canada: A lively city with a European flair, offering great food, culture, and nightlife.
16. Cabo San Lucas, Mexico: A beachside paradise with beautiful resorts and exciting activities.
17. San Francisco, California: Explore the city’s diverse neighborhoods, iconic landmarks, and delicious food.
18. Newport, Rhode Island: A coastal town known for its mansions, sailing, and charming atmosphere.
19. Denver, Colorado: Ideal for outdoor enthusiasts, offering hiking, mountain views, and craft beer.
20. Seattle, Washington: Enjoy the city’s coffee culture, waterfront, and unique neighborhoods.
21. Charlevoix, Michigan: A picturesque lakeside destination with charming small-town vibes.
22. Cancun, Mexico: Beautiful beaches, resorts, and lively nightlife await in this tropical paradise.
23. Lake Tahoe, California/Nevada: Perfect for outdoor activities, including skiing, hiking, and water sports.

Bachelorette Party To-Do List:

1. Set the Date:
   • Coordinate with the bride and key attendees to find a suitable date for the party.
2. Create a Budget:
   • Determine the budget for the party and communicate it with the other participants.
3. Choose a Theme:
   • Select a theme based on the bride’s preferences and interests.
4. Compile the Guest List:
   • Create a list of invitees in consultation with the bride.
5. Select the Location:
   • Decide on the destination or venue for the party based on the theme and preferences.
6. Book Accommodations:
   • If the party involves travel, secure accommodations for the group.
7. Plan Activities:
   • Organize a mix of activities, such as outings, games, and surprises, that align with the theme and location.
8. Send Invitations:
   • Send out invitations well in advance, whether digital or physical, and include all relevant details.
9. Coordinate Transportation:
   • Arrange transportation to and from the party location if needed.
10. Plan Decorations:
    • Gather decorations and props that match the chosen theme.
11. Organize Meals and Drinks:
    • Plan meals, snacks, and drinks, whether dining out or catering in.
12. Reserve Entertainment:
    • If applicable, book entertainment such as DJs, performers, or karaoke equipment.
13. Create Itinerary:
    • Develop a schedule of events and share it with the attendees.
14. Plan Gift Giving:
    • Coordinate gifts for the bride, whether it’s a group gift or individual contributions.
15. Pack Essentials:
    • Prepare a checklist of essentials like travel documents, party supplies, and personal items.
16. Confirm Reservations:
    • Double-check all bookings and reservations to ensure everything is in order.
17. Coordinate Outfits:
    • Decide on attire, whether it’s matching outfits, costumes, or a specific dress code.
18. Prepare Party Favors:
    • Put together party favors or welcome bags for the attendees.
19. Stay Organized:
    • Keep all planning details, contacts, and confirmations organized in one place.
20. Create a Contact List:
    • Share a contact list with all participants in case of emergencies or last-minute changes.
21. Handle Payments:
    • Collect any payments from participants for shared expenses.
22. Pack Emergency Kit:
    • Assemble an emergency kit with first aid supplies, phone chargers, and any other necessities.
23. Capture Memories:
    • Designate someone to take photos and videos throughout the event.
24. Communicate:
    • Stay in touch with the attendees leading up to the party, providing updates and reminders.
25. Enjoy the Party:
    • On the day of the event, relax, have fun, and ensure that the bride has a fantastic time