Last Sunday, I was finally a wedding guest!
Working as a professional bridesmaid for a living gives me the chance to go to a lot of weddings, but usually i’m too busy running around to stop and smell the delicious food during cocktail hour or admire the the detailed decorations scattered all throughout the venue.
But when I was at this wedding as a guest, I realized, wow, I hardly have any idea how to be a put together wedding guest. One that doesn’t make a complete and utter fool of herself by stuffing her face with endless pasta – from the custom pasta bar – and takes over the dance floor like it’s her own personal Zumba.
That’s why I put together this list of 50 mistakes ALL wedding guests make (I made more than half of them this past weekend).
1. Forgetting to RSVP and thinking you can just show up to the part.
2. Showing Up Late and thinking you can just sneak in. Be careful, you’ll miss the I Do.
3. Not Turning Your Cell Phone on Silent and having the whole ceremony here your ringtone.
4. Giving an Unplanned Wedding Speech. Step away from the microphone.
5. Texting the Bride. Before the wedding, she’s super busy. Text anybody else.
6. Bringing an Uninvited Plus One. If you weren’t told you can bring someone, fly solo to this wedding.
7. Wearing White. Save that color and that color only for the bride.
8. Not Bringing a Gift. Yes, you can mail it in later if you forget…but who has stamps these days?
9. Forgetting to Bring a Gift. If you feel like you’re missing something when you leave the house, it’s probably the gift.
10. Deciding You Don’t Want to Give a Gift. It’s a celebration, so give a little something, even if it’s just a meaningful gift.
11. Providing Sports-Like Commentary During the Ceremony. Keep the play-by-plays to yourself.
12. Taking Flash Photography During the Ceremony. At least turn your flash off so you don’t blind the Rabbi.
13. Walking into the Ceremony Late. People can hear and feel and get distracted by your footsteps.
14. Skipping the Ceremony. You’ll get away with it, but you’ll feel weird knowing you missed the most important part of the wedding.
15. Not Eating Before the Wedding. Your growling stomach will thank you for feeding it before taking a seat at the church for the next 75 minutes.
16. Taking Shots Before the Ceremony. Drinking before you get to the wedding is never a good idea.
17. Not Listing Food Allergies. Speak up about these before you arrive – or else you’ll be stuck eating dinner rolls all night.
18. Eating Too Much During Cocktail Hour. Pace yourself. You’ll be too stuffed to dance the Horah or the Electric Slide.
19. Hogging Time With the Bride and Groom. Don’t cling on to them all night. Let them float around and say hi to everyone.
20. Going Wild at the Open Bar. Just because it’s there, doesn’t mean you need to be there all night.
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21. Wearing Heels on the Dance Floor. Don’t do it unless you want numb toes.
22. Leaving Early & Saying Goodbye to the Guests. Just ghost.
23. Passing Out in the Cake.
24. Passing Out on the Dance Floor.
25. Passing Out on the Bride.
26. Passing out in Coat Check.
27. Passing out in the Lobby. Just don’t pass out.
28. Giving Eyes to a Drunk Uncle.
29. Dancing With a Drunk Uncle.
30. Giving Your Number to a Drunk Uncle. Thinking that you’re being nice? Nope. You’re giving in to his creepiness.
31. Marching on to the Dance Floor When They Call For Single Ladies.
32. Thinking You’re Going to Be the One to Catch the Bouquet.
33. Standing in the Center of the Dance Floor and Getting Elbowed While Trying to Catch the Bouquet.
34. Thinking You’re Not Going to Get a Black Eye When the Bouquet is Tossed and All the Girls Swarm You.
35. Catching the Bouquet and Thinking Your Next to Get Married. If that was true, I’d be married 16 times by now.
36. Going to the Open Bar & Taking a Bottle. Just because it’s free doesn’t mean you need to take advantage of it.
37. Shots, shots, shots, shots. Shots are never a good idea at a family focused event like a wedding.
38. Dancing on the Dance Floor Like You’re the Lead in a Broadway Show. Don’t hog the dance floor with spastic moves that could hit someone in the face.
39. Thinking You Can Still Dance Like You’re 13. When they play scrub the ground, realize you may never get off the ground. Stick to the Electric Slide.
40. Thinking a Wedding is an Excuse to Do Karaoke. Once again, step away from the microphone.
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41. Not Wearing Deodorant. Weddings make people smell more so than usual. Bring some antiperspirant with you and reapply.
42. Wearing the Same Dress/Color as the Bridesmaids. Double check before the wedding so you don’t show up looking like the third-wheel bridesmaid.
43. Wearing Jeans. Take it up a notch and leave the relaxed fit pants at home.
44. Telling People You’re Single. Once you do that, everyone around you will be on a mission to find you Mr. Right.
45. Going on Dating Apps. Put your phone away and meet someone new IRL.
46. Not Meeting New People. Weddings are a great excuse to meet new friends, dates, or even just business contacts.
47. Not Saying Hello to the People at the Table With You. Say hello. It’s better than sitting there in silence.
48. Sitting at the Table the Whole Night. Even if you don’t like to dance, get up and mingle.
49. Try to Have a Good Time. Weddings are supposed to be one the fun events we have in life. Don’t forget that!
50. Not Leaving Before You Get Kicked Out. When the DJ says goodnight, make your way out of the building and take a cab home.
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