The first time I was asked to be a bridesmaid, I thought I scored the supporting actress role in an Oscar worthy film. I smiled wide and wrapped my arms around the bride, hugging and kissing her with utter thanks. This was the role of a lifetime and I was honored, at the ripe, broke age of 22, to have earned this role.

 

But two months and $565 dollars into it, I started to understand that while being a bridesmaid can be a whole lot of fun, it can be a whole lot of work. It can also cause a whole lot of damage on your wallet, your liver, and your stress levels.

 

Nobody teaches you how to be a bridesmaid, so it’s only natural to approach the first couple of times you do it as if someone was blindfolding you and leading you down the aisle, as you grabbed onto a bouquet of fresh smelling peonies. You’ll find yourself saying yes to everything and winding up with a closet filled of overpriced polyester dresses that hardly fit you because you couldn’t afford the extra hundred dollars of alterations. You’ll find yourself dehydrated and exhausted after a weekend in Vegas. And you’ll find yourself wondering if you’ll be left with a friend after the whole wedding shindig is over, or if you will forever remember the bride as the sum total of her handful of bridezilla moments.

 

So if you’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid, again, and again, and again, that you’re beginning to become the real life version of the movie 27 dresses, you may start to feel as if being a bridesmaid is not, at all, like the supporting role in an Oscar winning film, but instead something you continuously role your eyes at.

 

Here are 9 ways to actually enjoy being a bridesmaid the next time you have to zip on the polyester and take baby steps down the aisle.

 

 

1. Forget You Have a Savings Account

Right after you say your own personal I DO to being a bridesmaid, the next thing you should do is forget about the money in your savings account or the emergency cash you have hidden under your mattress. Pretend it doesn’t exist. Pretend it’s stored inside of a safe with twelve locks attached to it. Set a budget for your bridesmaiding self and stick to it. Anything extra is everything you should say no to. If not, you’ll spend the money you should be sticking in your 401K this quarter on a set of knives for the bridal shower and a weekend bachelorette party trip to Cape Cod.

 

2. Give the Dress a Little Makeover

If you zip on the bridesmaid dress and feel like you just covered your body with your grandmother’s window treatments or a dress that would fit in perfectly at an 80’s prom themed party, there is still a glimmer of hope. You can feel more confident and comfortable in your bridesmaid dress by adding a twist of your personality to it with accessorizes, a funky hairstyle, or even a loud and proud purse.

 

3. Don’t Make Being a Bridesmaid Your Second Full-Time Job

It can be ultra tempting to get bridesmaid obsessed and make the role feel like your second full-time job, or one of those internships you did in college that you didn’t get paid for. You’ll find yourself reading through email chains from the other bridesmaids until 1am or researching the perfect t-shirt to make for the bachelorette party weekend. But make sure to only schedule an hour or two a week to devout to this role or else you’ll find yourself with life-size headaches and zero free time.

 

4. Forgive the Bride When She Goes Bridezilla

It’s going to happen and when it does, you may find yourself bulging your eyes at a friend or a family member you once viewed as the calmest person you knew, now seemingly loosing their mind over why the venue can’t provide them with Kale instead of romaine lettuce. Just know that as a bride, you’re dealing with a lot of stress and pressure, so if your bride best friend gets a little cookie, the only real thing you can do is forgive them. Or take them out for a glass of wine and take their mind off the wedding chaos.

 

5. Remember That There’s an End…to the Aisle

If you find yourself getting gray hairs during the experience and constantly letting out verbal sighs of ughhh whenever the maid of honor texts you, just know that this too will come to an end. Soon enough, there will be the moment when you’re walking down the aisle, followed by the moment when you’re stuffing your face with a piece of Salmon, followed by the moment when you’re busting out dance moves beside the bride’s 87-year-old drunk uncle. Convince yourself that it will all be over soon – so make the best of the adventure in the meantime.

 

6. Use the Wedding as an Excuse to Take a Vacation

If you’re traveling to another country or state for the wedding, or even spending the day at a local venue getting glammed up, use the wedding weekend as an excuse to relax and rest. Spend the day before, or the morning of the wedding, relaxing at the pool or getting a massage. After all, even though you’re not the one saying I DO, you are part of the party, and the party deserves to have fun.

 

7. Get Buddy Buddy With the Other Bridesmaids

The more the merrier when it comes to getting through the duties of being a bridesmaid. Team up with the other bridesmaids and get to know them. They can be there for you when you need a pre-wedding vent session or even to strategize how to get the bride to stay calm, cool, and collective.

 

8. Skip the Bridesmaidzilla Personality & Be the Life of the Party

Remember, the wedding day isn’t about you, so if the weather is warm or your shoes are giving you blisters or you don’t feel like smiling for the 435^th picture of the day, there’s no use in complaining. You’ll bring down the overall mood and get the bride all stirred up. Instead, take breaks when you need them, carry Band-Aids with you always, and bat your eyelashes at the soon-to-be open bar.

 

9. Remember How Totally OK it is to Say NO

If something isn’t sitting right with you, your budget, or your schedule, go ahead and say no. Don’t feel bad about it. If you force yourself to do something you absolutely dread, you’ll be even more miserable and your experience as a bridesmaid will be a total nightmare. Say no along the way and you’ll have an easier time saying yes when you need to.