Guest Post: What It Was Like to Work as a Bridesmaid for Hire

When I told people I was going to be a bridesmaid for a bride I’d never met, a whole host of questions followed.

• Why would you do that?
• Where are the bride’s friends?
• Why have bridesmaids at all?
• How is this a thing?

Call me crazy, but this idea never felt crazy to me. And here’s why.

I wanted to do it for the experience.

That was my thought initially. Not everyone is lucky to call Jen Glantz a good friend. I feel so fortunate that I get to and when she asked me to stand with her I immediately said yes. To me, this would be a once in a lifetime opportunity and I’m all about trying anything once.

The bride didn’t want to burden her friends.

Weddings aren’t for everyone and if a bride is not a wedding person, I can’t imagine how she would A) get her ‘maids to get excited and B) survive the experience without disagreeing and/or arguing with at least one of them. Weddings can turn into stressful times, but no stress is worth hurting, or losing, a friendship over. Hiring a few girls to come in for the weekend as a simple solution can go a long way.

Sometimes you don’t make all the rules.

The groom has a vision for the wedding. The mother-in-law has her opinions to share. While some brides take complete charge, other brides prefer to let family/friends take the lead to accommodate all parties involved. Our bride was looking forward to the honeymoon and marriage – not the wedding. She let others make the decisions because it was important to them. One of those decisions being the wedding party. The groom and mother-in-law wanted to the traditional wedding setup and that’s exactly what our bride gave them, albeit in her own non-traditional way.

It’s a thing because it fulfills a need.

When Jen was asked to be in two weddings in two days, it sparked an idea. If so many friends were looking to her to stand by their side, why not create the same for other brides? As we paraded around town taking group photos and as I listened to the toasts at the reception, I didn’t feel like the outsider I imagined I would. I felt welcomed into the group and honored to be along for the ride. I know that my responsibility was to help make the day a little easier for the bride and that I played a pivotal role in opening this chapter for the new Mr. and Mrs.

As I listened to the best man give his toast, I thought about how love comes to us in a variety of forms. We don’t need the same love from everyone in our lives and sometimes we receive love in unexpected ways. What’s important is what we do with that love. That we share it with the people closest to us and pass some along to surprise others when they need it most.

While I understand not everyone agrees with this unique take on the traditional wedding, what I hope we all can agree on is the unwavering support of a couple as they make big decisions together. Entering a marriage is just the first of many for which they will be needing support. So whether it’s a sister, childhood best friend or the newest friend added to the roster, figure out how you can be there for her. There’s something so hopeful about starting a new chapter – be there to help as the couple creates the rest of their story.

Stephanie Florence is a 20-something who can talk to a brick wall and dance to a kazoo. In fact, she’s strutted her way through 12 wedding dance floors in the last two years. Stephanie contributes to the 40:20 Vision as the Millennial editor and on every day that ends in “y” you can find her meeting people, telling exceedingly long stories and taking the approach of a student…always. Find her dancing around Chicago in her personalized Chuck Taylors, complete with her Twitter handle: @StephanieFlo.