Ask a professional bridesmaid: How do I figure out who my bridesmaids should be?

Dear Jen,

 

When I think about who to select as bridesmaids, I count more two handfuls of people. How in the world do I decide? I’m scared if I chose one person and not the other, I’ll lose a friend or make someone really mad at me. What about people that have asked me to be a bridesmaid for them? I’ve been a bridesmaid 8 times. If I ask all of those people, plus new friends of mine and family members, I’ll be up to 12 bridesmaids. Is that some kind of world record? If it is, I’m totally not looking to break it.

 

Sincerely,

Pick-a-bridesmaid

 

Dear Pick-a-bridesmaid,

 

I’ve been a bridesmaid more times than I’d like to admit. So when I think about my own wedding, whenever that lovely day will be, I get a sudden rush of anxiety over who my bridesmaids will be and how I’ll decide between all of the wonderful women who asked me to stand by their side for their wedding day. The process, which should be exciting and fun, feels like it would be an immediate way to watch friendships dissolve and to have tears erupt. But the other day, I was thinking about who I would really want by my side on my wedding day – a day that is often colored with stress and decisions and pressure. That’s when I came up with a trick I like to call the “elevator trick”.

 

Think about it this way, if you were stuck in an elevator, who would you want by your side inside of the elevator? You’ll be anxious, sweaty, and probably hungry. Will you want a ton of people who you barely speak to or who typically bring extra stress and drama with them no matter where they go? Or do you want people who know how to keep you calm and make you laugh off the ugly situations that pop up out of nowhere?

 

It’s that simple. Chose them. Chose the people you would want to dance around that elevator with until the door slides open. Those are the women who should be your bridesmaids.