Ask a professional bridesmaid: Do you need to tell someone they have a plus one on a save the date?

Dear Jen,

 

I’m getting ready to send out my Save the Date postcards. I spent months mixing and matching photos and designs to come up with the perfect Save the Date and now as I’m getting ready to send them out to my guest list, I am facing quite the dilemma. I still haven’t figured out who i’m allowing to bring a plus one. Of course some of my guests are grandfathered into having a plus one, because they are married or in very serious relationships, but some of my other guests, who are casually dating or single, I’m unsure if I have the room, or funds, to let them bring someone. So, should I hold off on sending the Save the Dates until I have this detail all squared away or should I sent them out now, leaving out that detail for all of the guests?

 

Sincerely,

Save the Plus Ones for Later?

 

Dear Save the Plus Ones for Later,

 

I have only once been given a plus one for a wedding, and I’ve been to more weddings than I can count on my hands and my toes. Most of the time, both the save the date and the wedding invitation are addressed to little old me. Sometimes, especially when I’ve been a bridesmaid, I’ve started asking a few weeks before the wedding if I can bring someone with me, that is if the bride and groom have an extra seat at a table. One time, I was given a plus one and when I saw that on the save the date, I jumped up and down until finally I realized I needed to go into planning mode. I needed to find someone to bring! While I was thrilled that I was given this honor, and told via the save the date, I did think that was too early to tell a guest that. Since you’re still unsure how many people you can let bring a plus one, or even who you’d like to give that honor to, it’s perfectly okay to wait. Wait until you send out the initiations and have a better idea of how many people you can fit in the venue and how many people you can afford to pay for. Even if a week before the wedding you tell a couple of people that they can bring a guest, they will be thrilled. At least I would be!