Mastering the Best Man Role: A Comprehensive Guide for 2024

Before we dive in, know that Bridesmaid for Hire is here to help along the way:

• Our blog has tons of resources, like this guide on writing a funny best man speech or this list of 75+ best man speech examples. 
• We also have a popular best man speechwriting tool that writes you a personalized toast in minutes.
• Finally, our best man speech coaching sessions teach you ditch shaking hands and jokes that don’t land so you can give a confident best man speech.

TL;DR

• The best man’s role has evolved from being a “bride’s knight” to the groom’s primary support system.
• Pre-wedding duties include planning the bachelor party, suit shopping, and providing emotional support.
• On the wedding day, the best man ensures everything runs smoothly, keeps the rings safe, and delivers a memorable speech.
• Post-wedding responsibilities involve returning rentals and assisting with honeymoon preparations.
• Effective communication and coordination with groomsmen are crucial for a seamless experience.
• Bridesmaid for Hire offers support services to help best men excel in their roles.

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Origins and Evolution of the Best Man Role

Historical Background

Okay, let’s start with a little history lesson. The tradition of the best man actually goes way back to the 16th century with the Germanic Goths. Back then, the best man was like the bride’s personal bodyguard. He was called the “bride’s knight” and was often the best swordsman around. His job was to protect the bride from any disapproving families or exes who might try to crash the wedding.

Bride’s Knight

So picture this: it’s the 16th century and you’re the best man. You’re not just planning a killer stag do, you’re literally armed with a sword, ready to “steal” the bride away from her family if they try to object to the marriage. Pretty intense, right?

Modern Role

Fast forward to today and the role of the best man has definitely evolved. You can leave your sword at home, but you still play a crucial part in making sure the wedding goes off without a hitch. Now, your responsibilities are more about providing emotional support to the groom, helping with logistics, and being a key player in all the wedding events.

Emotional Support

One of the most important parts of being a best man today is being there for the groom emotionally. Whether it’s calming his nerves before the big day or lending an ear when he needs to vent, you’re the groom’s rock through this whole process.

Logistical Assistance

You’re also the groom’s right-hand man when it comes to logistics. From coordinating transportation to liaising with vendors, you’re there to make sure all the details are handled so the groom can focus on enjoying his special day.

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Pre-Wedding Responsibilities

Bachelor Party Planning

Now onto one of the most anticipated duties of the best man: planning the bachelor party. This is where you get to coordinate with the groom and the other attendees to put together an unforgettable celebration that fits everyone’s budget and preferences.

Budget Management

Let’s talk budgets. It’s crucial to have a frank discussion with the groom about how much he’s comfortable spending, and then make sure all the attendees are on the same page. Remember, an epic bachelor party doesn’t have to break the bank. There are plenty of budget-friendly options that can still be a blast.

Activity Planning

When it comes to planning activities, think about the groom’s interests and the group dynamic. Maybe it’s a weekend in Vegas, or maybe it’s a chill fishing trip. The goal is to create an experience that the groom will absolutely love and remember forever.

Suit Shopping

Another big task on your pre-wedding to-do list is helping the groom and groomsmen find their perfect wedding attire. You want to make sure everyone looks sharp and coordinated on the big day.

Style Coordination

When it comes to style, you’ll want to work closely with the groom to choose suits that complement the overall vibe and aesthetic of the wedding. Make sure all the groomsmen are on the same page about the style and color scheme.

Fittings and Alterations

Don’t forget about fittings! Schedule these well in advance to allow plenty of time for any necessary alterations. Trust me, you don’t want to be scrambling for a tailor the week before the wedding.

Fun fact: On average, the best man spends 8 ¾ hours planning the bachelor party do and 6 ½ hours writing his speech. [StagWeb]

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Wedding Day Duties

Ring Bearer

On the day of the wedding, one of your most important jobs is to keep the wedding rings safe. This is a big responsibility, so make sure you’ve got a secure place to store them until the ceremony.

Ring Security

I recommend keeping the rings in a dedicated, secure pocket or a small box. Double and triple check that you have the rings before leaving for the ceremony, and then keep checking throughout the day just to be safe. You definitely don’t want a Home Alone moment with the rings!

Ps. here’s a list of what a best man shouldn’t do at the wedding. 

Best Man Speech

For many best men, the speech is the most nerve-wracking part of the job. But don’t worry, with a little preparation and practice, you can deliver a speech that’s equal parts funny, heartfelt, and memorable. Need help writing your speech? Try out best man speechwriting tool.

Speech Preparation

Start working on your speech well in advance. Include some personal anecdotes that highlight your friendship with the groom, express your gratitude for being part of this special day, and offer some sincere well-wishes to the newlyweds. The more you practice, the more confident you’ll feel when it’s time to take the mic.

Ps. Here’s a guide on how to write a best man speech for your brother’s wedding.

Public Speaking Tips

If public speaking makes you nervous, you’re not alone. In fact, 79% of men think the best man speech is the scariest part of being a best man. [Funktion Events] But fear not, there are tricks to help you conquer those nerves. Take deep breaths, make eye contact with friendly faces in the crowd, and speak slowly and clearly. Remember, you’ve got this and if you need wedding speech coaching, we’re here to help!

Post-Wedding Responsibilities

Returning Rentals

Your best man duties don’t end when the wedding does. After the big day, you’ll be responsible for making sure any rented items, like suits or décor, are returned on time. This helps avoid any pesky late fees and ensures a smooth wrap-up of the wedding logistics.

Coordination with Vendors

To stay organized, create a checklist of all the rented items and liaise with the vendors to arrange timely returns. Good communication is key here to avoid any misunderstandings or delays.

Assisting with Honeymoon Preparations

If the newlyweds are jetting off on their honeymoon right after the wedding, they might need some last-minute assistance. Offer to help with any tasks like double-checking travel documents, packing essentials, or arranging transportation to the airport.

Travel Arrangements

Make sure the couple has all their necessary travel documents in order and easily accessible. It’s also a good idea to confirm flight times, hotel reservations, and any other travel details to ensure a smooth start to their romantic getaway.

On a side note, did you catch that recent Dear Abby column about the emotional complexities that can arise with the best man role? Like old flames rekindling at the wedding? Whew, talk about drama! [Union Leader]

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Best Man and Groomsmen Coordination

Communication Strategies

As the best man, you’re essentially the captain of the groomsmen squad. Effective communication is essential to make sure everyone is on the same page and the wedding day runs smoothly. Regular updates and group meetings are a great way to keep everyone in the loop and address any questions or concerns.

Regular Updates

Set up a group chat or email chain to send out regular reminders about upcoming tasks and events. This is a great space for the groomsmen to ask questions, share ideas, and bond over the excitement of the upcoming wedding.

Group Meetings

In addition to digital communication, try to organize a few in-person meetings or video calls with the whole group. This gives you a chance to discuss the more detailed aspects of the wedding and make sure everyone is clear on their roles and responsibilities. Plus, it’s a great opportunity for some pre-wedding bonding!

Task Delegation

As much as you might want to, you can’t do everything yourself. That’s why it’s important to delegate tasks to the other groomsmen based on their strengths and availability. By sharing the workload, you can ensure that all the necessary duties are covered without putting too much pressure on any one person.

Role Assignment

When assigning roles, think about each groomsman’s unique skills and personality. Maybe one is great at keeping track of details, so he can be in charge of coordinating with vendors. Another might be the life of the party, making him perfect for getting guests hyped up on the dance floor. By playing to everyone’s strengths, you can create a well-oiled groomsmen machine.

Did you know that on average, the best man spends £343 on the stag weekend? [Hitched] Better start saving up!

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How to Choose a Best Man

Criteria for Selection

If you’re the groom, choosing your best man is a big decision. You want someone who is reliable, supportive, and capable of handling all the responsibilities that come with the role.

Personal Connection

Your best man should be someone you have a deep personal connection with, like a brother, childhood friend, or close cousin. This ensures that they understand you on a fundamental level and can provide the emotional support you need during this exciting but sometimes stressful time.

Organizational Skills

In addition to a strong personal bond, look for someone with excellent organizational skills. Planning a wedding involves a lot of moving parts, so you want a best man who can keep track of details, stick to a schedule, and problem-solve on the fly.

Communicating Expectations

Once you’ve chosen your best man, it’s crucial to sit down with them and clearly outline your expectations for the role. This helps avoid any misunderstandings or disappointments down the line.

Detailed Discussion

Schedule a one-on-one meeting with your best man to discuss the role in detail. Go over the specific responsibilities, your vision for the stag do and wedding day, and any potential challenges or concerns. Encourage them to ask questions and provide feedback. The more aligned you are from the start, the smoother the whole experience will be.

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Tips for a Successful Best Man Speech

Speech Writing

Crafting a best man speech that’s funny, heartfelt, and concise is no easy feat. But with a little planning and some insider tips, you can absolutely knock it out of the park. Need help writing your best man speech? Try out best man speechwriting tool.

Structure

Start by outlining the structure of your speech. A good formula is to open with a funny or poignant anecdote, then express your gratitude and admiration for the groom and couple, and close with a meaningful toast. Having a clear beginning, middle, and end will help keep your speech focused and engaging.

Personal Anecdotes

The best speeches are personal and specific. Share stories that highlight your unique relationship with the groom and illustrate what makes him such an amazing person. Maybe it’s the time he helped you through a tough breakup, or that inside joke from your childhood that still makes you both laugh. These personal touches will make your speech more relatable and memorable.

Ps. Our best man speech writing guide has more information on writing a best man speech. 

Practice and Delivery

No matter how well-written your speech is, the delivery is just as important. The key is to practice, practice, practice. The more comfortable you are with the material, the more confident and natural you’ll sound on the big day.

Rehearsal

Start practicing your speech well in advance of the wedding. Stand in front of a mirror, record yourself, or grab a trusted friend to be your audience. Pay attention to your pacing, tone, and body language. The goal is to sound conversational, not like you’re reading off a script.

Public Speaking Techniques

If the thought of public speaking makes your palms sweat, don’t worry. There are techniques you can use to calm your nerves and engage your audience. Try some deep breathing exercises before you take the mic, make eye contact with friendly faces in the crowd, and remember to smile. Your genuine emotion and enthusiasm will shine through and connect with the audience. Remember, you’ve got this and if you need wedding speech coaching, we’re here to help!