8 Things a Best Man Shouldn’t Do at a Wedding

Getting tapped with the honor of being a best man is one of the most exciting moments of any guy’s life. It’s the ultimate chance to be there for someone who has probably been there for you, more than you can properly thank them for, throughout the main events of your life. As a best man, you play a crucial role in ensuring that the groom’s wedding day is as perfect and memorable as possible. From offering emotional support and organizing pre-wedding events to delivering a heartfelt toast and keeping the celebration running smoothly, your responsibilities are vast and significant.

However, amidst the excitement and joy of the occasion, it’s essential to be aware of certain pitfalls that can detract from the overall experience. As the best man, your actions and behavior set the tone for the rest of the wedding party and can greatly impact the atmosphere of the event. To ensure that you fulfill your duties with grace, dignity, and effectiveness, it’s crucial to understand what to avoid on the big day.

In this blog post, we’ll explore eight things that you should absolutely steer clear of as the best man. By being mindful of these potential missteps and focusing on your role as a supportive and reliable presence, you’ll contribute to creating a truly unforgettable wedding experience for the groom, the bride, and all those in attendance. So, if you’re preparing to take on your best man duties and want to make sure you’re fully equipped for the task, read on to discover the key things to avoid on the wedding day.

Before we dive in, know that Bridesmaid for Hire is here to help along the way:

• Our blog has tons of resources, like this guide on writing a funny best man speech or this list of 75+ best man speech examples. 
• We also have a popular best man speechwriting tool that writes you a personalized toast in minutes.
• Finally, our best man speech coaching sessions teach you ditch shaking hands and jokes that don’t land so you can give a confident best man speech.

---

1. Speak From the Heart

Even if you think it’s best to give an impromptu best man speech at the wedding, writing and rehearsing your toast beforehand is always the best way to go. When the nerves kick in and you have a couple of glasses of champagne already in your belly, you, and the groom, will feel more at ease if you have a pre-written speech. Take the time to reflect on your friendship with the groom and the special moments you’ve shared together. Jot down heartfelt anecdotes and sincere well-wishes for the newlyweds. Practice delivering your speech in front of a mirror or trusted friends to get comfortable with the content and timing. Remember, a well-prepared toast not only honors the couple but also showcases the depth of your bond with the groom.

2. Take Advantage of the Open Bar

Just because the free shots of Patron are eyeing you from the bar, doesn’t mean you have to take full advantage of them. As the Best Man, you’ll be setting an example that the other groomsmen will follow. So avoid the shots, until later in the night. Pace yourself throughout the event, alternating between alcoholic beverages and water to stay hydrated and clear-headed. Your role involves important responsibilities, such as giving the toast, assisting the groom, and ensuring the smooth flow of the celebration. By maintaining a level of sobriety, you’ll be better equipped to handle any unexpected situations that may arise and provide the necessary support to the groom and other wedding party members.

3. Change Out of the Tux

Even if you find yourself getting sweaty on the dance floor, leave your tux on for the night. Don’t take off your button down shirt or even change into a pair of shorts. Remember, you’re not at a Vegas pool party, you’re at an elegant affair. The tuxedo is a symbol of the formality and significance of the occasion. By keeping your attire intact, you show respect for the couple, the event, and the guests. If you feel uncomfortable or overheated, step outside for a brief moment to cool off or use a handkerchief to dab away the sweat. Maintaining a polished appearance throughout the wedding not only reflects well on you but also contributes to the overall sophistication of the celebration.

4. Hit on the Bridesmaids

You’ll be spending a lot of time with the bridal party, so treat them with respect and don’t earn yourself the nickname of the creepy best man. Remember that the focus of the day is on the bride and groom, not your personal romantic pursuits. Engage in friendly and appropriate conversations with the bridesmaids, but avoid making advances or suggestive comments that could make them uncomfortable. Your role is to support the couple and facilitate a joyous atmosphere, not to distract or create awkward situations. By maintaining a respectful and professional demeanor, you’ll contribute to the overall harmony of the wedding party and ensure that everyone feels at ease throughout the celebration.

5. Get the Groom Drunk

It may be tempting to feed the groom a few drinks before the wedding to help calm his nerves and start the party early, but as the best man, one of your main jobs is to make sure the groom walks down the aisle. Keeping him as sober as possible pre-wedding will make your job a whole lot easier. Offer the groom non-alcoholic alternatives, such as water or calming herbal tea, to help him relax and stay focused. Engage him in light-hearted conversation or suggest a quick walk to clear his mind and alleviate any pre-wedding jitters. By prioritizing the groom’s well-being and ensuring he arrives at the ceremony in a composed state, you’ll be fulfilling one of your most important responsibilities as the best man.

For a full guide on best man duties, read this blog post.

6. Suddenly Disappear

Be sure to have the groom’s back on his wedding day and try not to leave his side. Even if it seems like you have a lot of downtime before the wedding and you want to search for the nearest bar or spot to eat, make sure you don’t disappear on the groom. Your presence provides a sense of comfort and reassurance during a potentially nerve-wracking time. If you need to step away for a moment, communicate your whereabouts and estimated return time to the groom or another trusted groomsman. By remaining accessible and available, you demonstrate your commitment to supporting the groom throughout the day and ensuring that everything runs smoothly.

7. Show Up Late

The last thing any groom wants to deal with on his wedding day is a Best Man that’s an hour late. Come as early as you can. Arriving promptly shows respect for the couple, the wedding party, and the event itself. Give yourself ample time to get ready, account for potential traffic or unforeseen circumstances, and aim to be at the designated location well ahead of schedule. By being punctual, you alleviate any additional stress on the groom and allow for a smooth start to the day’s festivities. Your reliability and dependability as the best man will be greatly appreciated by the groom and all those involved in the wedding.

8. Take Control of the Dance Floor

It’s great to be the Best Man who is the life of the party, but try not to steal the show. Remember who the center of attention should be that night (hint: the bride and groom). While it’s wonderful to enjoy the celebration and encourage others to have a good time, be mindful of not overshadowing the newlyweds. Let them have their special moments, such as the first dance or the bouquet and garter toss, without interruption or distraction. Join in the festivities, but always keep in mind that the day is about honoring and celebrating the love between the bride and groom. By allowing them to remain the focal point, you contribute to the creation of lasting memories that they’ll cherish for years to come.

Also, know that Bridesmaid for Hire is here to help along the way:

• Our blog has tons of resources, like this guide on writing a funny best man speech or this list of 75+ best man speech examples. 
• We also have a popular best man speechwriting tool that writes you a personalized toast in minutes.
• Finally, our best man speech coaching sessions teach you ditch shaking hands and jokes that don’t land so you can give a confident best man speech.