Getting asked to be a Maid-of-Honor is truly a milestone moment that should bring about a burst of joy and excitement. Whether it’s your best friend or a close family member getting ready to tie the knot, it’s a true honor that they have turned to you with the role of a lifetime.
Chances are you’ve probably been there for them before, whether it was for late-night phone sessions where you both vented about a rough day, or a day-long shopping trick where you searched for the perfect pair of jeans. But this time around, when you put on the Maid-of-Honor hat, you may start to feel overwhelmed around what it is you need to do and when you need to do it.
Being a Maid-of-Honor can be a lot of fun, but it can always be a lot of work. There’s a huge element of planning that comes along with the role, as you may be expected to throw the bachelorette party of the century and come up with fun games for guests to play during the bridal shower. On the day of the wedding, you’ll find yourself being part team counselor, for the bridal party, and party go-to gal pal for the bride throughout the day.
So whether or not this is your first time as a Maid-of-Honor or you’ve done this job a couple of times before, here’s a guide of 50-tips that will help you be there for the bride in every way possible before and on the day of the wedding.
- Wait Before Saying YES
Taking on the role of being the bride’s maid-of-honor is something that you’ll probably want to rush in and say yes to. But before agreeing to take on the role of a lifetime, ask questions. Sit down with the bride and find out how hands on she’ll want you to be. Make sure this is a role you have the time, funds, and energy for before you say the ultimate I DO.
- Sit Down and Set a Budget
After you agree to being a Maid-of-Honor, sit down and set a firm budget for how much you can spend on the entire wedding adventure. Often times, the Maid-of-Honor has to shell out a lot extra cash for things here and there, so having a budget to start off your duties with will ensure you don’t overspend.
- Say Hello to the Bridal Party
The rest of the bridesmaids look up to the Maid-of-Honor as if she’s the ultimate camp counselor. After you take on the role, personally introduce yourself to the other bridesmaids and let them know that you’ll update them on bachelorette party plans and you’re here to answer any and all questions that they have.
- Make Communication Easy
You’ll be the main contact for the bridesmaids and in order to keep communication organized, set up an email thread, a private Facebook group, or even a Google doc that you can share with the bridal party. That way, everyone has access to a hub of all the wedding details and information.
- Chat With Other MOH’s
Get some real-time, real-life advice on how to do an awesome job at your role by sitting down and getting coffee with other people you know who were MOH’s in the past or are currently MOH’s. That way, you can swap ideas and here about some of the mistakes they made and things they did that worked really well.
- Don’t Follow Old-School Rules
Add some of your personality and the bride’s personality into the events you plan during the wedding adventure. Even if wedding traditions say that bridal showers must be luncheons or bachelorette parties are usually in a party town, cater the plans to be something unique and fitting for the bride and the bridal party too.
- Order Your Dress ASAP
You’ll be setting quite an example as the Maid-of-Honor so be sure to order your bridesmaid dress as soon as the bride tells you which one she’d like you to wear. You can update the bridal party and let them know that you ordered yours and also give them recommendations for local alteration shops, perhaps even some willing to give you a group deal on getting your bridesmaid dresses fitted.
- Be the Bride’s Liaison
The bride will be busy with so many other wedding planning tasks, to-do list, and just overall stresses coming from family members and vendors. Help her out by being her liaison to the other bridesmaids, passing on any information that the bride would like them to know and also being the one who answers any questions that they have.
- Keep a Positive Attitude
The other members of the bridal party will be looking at you as the leader of the pack, so try to stay positive when you can. Any negative thoughts or feelings you have, try to address them in private and refrain from spreading those feelings to the other bridesmaids.
- Try Not to Go Madzilla
Everyone has heard of brides becoming bridezilla, but what about Maid-of-Honors becoming a Madzilla? It can happen. Remember that this role means you have to be a bit selfless and not take things super personally throughout the entire process.
- Pick a Bridal Shower Theme
If the bride or her family members have asked you to help out with the bridal shower, It’s usually a good idea to start off the planning by picking a theme, even if it’s a general one – like a color, a movie, or a hobby of the bride.
- Come Prepared
When planning for the bridal shower and bachelorette party, prepare all games beforehand and come with them printed and planned out before you arrive. That way, you’ll be organized and able to lead the rest of the party through the night, without fishing for last minute ideas of how to make the parties engaging and fun for all.
- Get Crafty With Decorations
A lot of the decorations for the bridal shower and bachelorette party may be things that you buy and come straight out of your personal budget. To save a little bit of money, get crafty with DIY decorations. You can even make a mini event out of this and ask for help from other members of the bridal party.
- Set a Max Budget for the Bridal Party
One of the major concerns and questions the members of the bridal party will have for you is over how much everything will cost them. If you can send them a breakdown of costs early on and see if everyone is able to afford the different events you’re planning, that will help ease tension and even give you the chance to revise plans if people can’t afford things along the way.
- Take a Poll on Bachelorette Party Locations
When it comes to the bachelorette party, the bride is going to want to have it at a location where most people can attend. Before picking the spot, send out a couple of locations that you have in mind and have the bridal party vote on their top choice.
- Share Details in Advance
Try not to wait until the night before the bachelorette party or wedding to share the itinerary for the day with the other bridesmaids. As soon as you have finalized timelines and itineraries, be sure to share them with the entire group.
- Bring Extra Bows to the Bridal Shower
One of your duties during the bridal shower will be to get a little extra crafty and make a paper plate hat out of bows from the gifts the guests bring. In case there aren’t enough bows on the gifts, bring a bag of extra ones.
- Keep Paper and Pen Handy
You’ll want to have this on hand especially at the bridal shower so that you can help record who gave what gift to the bride. This will help her out and maker her thank you note process a breeze to do.
- Ask for the Bride’s Opinion
Instead of making the bachelorette party or bridal shower a secret, sit down with the bride and get a general idea of what she wants and more importantly what she doesn’t want.
- Try to Accommodate Other Bridesmaids
Ask the bridal party for their opinion on the events you’re planning. Making them feel included is a great way to boost their attitude and also have them show up to the pre-wedding events and support the bride.
- Help the Bride With Her To-Do List
Instead of asking how you can help, ask to take a look at the bride’s to-do list and assign yourself tasks based on what you know you can easily take over and get done for her.
- Be the Bride’s Honorary Plus One
If you’re local, offer to accompany her to vendor meetings, food and cake sampling, and even to give your opinion on the centerpiece design she picked out. If you’re long distance, let her know you can FaceTime in for these meetings or even be available for a text chat during those times.
- Watch Her Get Fit
Ask if you can go with her to her wedding dress fittings. Remind her to bring the shoes she’s planning on wearing and also the bra she’s going to wear with the dress. While you’re there, you can even practice doing the bustle on the dress.
- Be a Bridesmaid Dress Model
When the bride is picking out which bridesmaid dress she’d like her bridal party to wear, she may need someone to go with her and try on the dresses so she can gauge how they look on. Offer your help with that or go for her and text her photos of you in the different dresses.
- Help Organize the Rehearsal
The night before the wedding, the wedding party will gather together and practice walking down the aisle. Offer to help the bride with coordinating that and inviting the people to the venue who should be there.
- Coordinate Transportation
One thing to make sure the bride doesn’t leave off her to-do list is transportation for the wedding party on the day of the wedding. You can offer to take that task over for her and arrange a taxi or shuttle bus to bring the wedding party from the hotel and to the venue.
- Be the Wake Up Call DJ
Come prepared on the morning of the wedding with a fun playlist of songs that you can help set the mood with and pump up the bride and the bridal party with.
- Have a Bottle of Champagne
The best way to kick off the morning of the wedding is with mimosas. Come prepared with a bottle of champagne so that you can serve up a glass of bubbly to the girls while they are getting ready.
- Be an On-Call Listener
Throughout the entire wedding experience, the bride is going to need someone to vent to more than anything else. Make yourself available for weekly phone calls where you can hear her updates and help her talk through challenges.
- Sharing is Caring
Don’t forget, if you find yourself overwhelmed or really busy with all of your maid-of-honor duties, it’s totally okay to delegate them out to other bridesmaids. Ask from help from the bridal party.
- Show Up A Little Early
It’s always good to arrive at the wedding events and on the wedding day a little bit early. That way you can help the bride out with whatever she needs and just be here rock of comfort before the day kicks off.
- Ease the Bride’s Stress
If you see the bride is getting anxious over everything she has to do, plan a spa day or a night out with her so she can take her mind off of all the wedding planning tasks that she’s been consumed with.
- Keep Things on Schedule
When the bachelorette party takes place and even on the day of the wedding, try to be the person who makes sure everything runs on schedule. The bride will feel at ease knowing someone is watching the clock and making sure things are running on time.
- Help Her With Thank You Cards
If she has a couple hundred to write, offer to help her after the wedding with this task. Even if she wants to be the one to handwrite each card, offer to come over and entertain her while she does it.
- Be the Captain of Her Team
The bride will look at you as her ultimate cheerleader and her personal warrior. Remember, that being a Maid-of-Honor is almost like being the captain of a team.
- Write Your Speech Early On
Start writing your Maid-of-Honor speech as soon as you can. You may face a bit of writer’s block since you’re putting together the speech of a lifetime. Leave yourself enough time for brainstorming sessions and multiple drafts.
- Attempt to Memorize Your Speech
The best speeches are the ones that don’t sound too rehearsed so spend a little extra time memorizing your speech before the big day.
- Smile While Toasting
When it comes time to give your speech, and you have a glass of champagne in your hand, awaiting a toast, be sure to smile through it all. It will change the tone of your voice and give an extra bit of power to your speech.
- Pack a Survival Kit
Come prepared on the day of the wedding with a survival kit in hand. Include any and all items you think the bridal party will need. That way, nobody has to make a last minute trip to CVS.
- Have Water and Snacks for On-the-Go Moments
Making sure the bride is hydrated and eating throughout her wedding day is important. Keep a bottle of water and some easy to eat snacks on you so that she can nibble in between photos.
- Stay Close By
The main job you’ll have on the day of the wedding is to serve as the bride’s go-to gal-pal. Keep close by so that if she needs anything, she knows she has support.
- Help With Group Photos
Gathering family members for group photos can be a bit chaotic. Lend in handing in finding the different family members and bringing them to the photo area before or after the ceremony.
- Serve as the Bride’s Buffer
Guests, vendors, and even family members may rush the bride on her wedding day with questions and problems. Be her buffer and try to intercept those questions before they have a chance to get to the bride.
- Get Buddy Buddy with the Vendors
Introduce yourself to the wedding vendors on the day of the wedding and let them know that you’re the point of contact if they need anything throughout the day or any challenges arise.
- Keep an Eye on the Gifts
When the reception starts, keep an eye on the card box and the gifts. If you can, move them close to the sweetheart table or store them in a locked room.
- Help the Bride Go to the Bathroom
Going to the bathroom in your wedding dress can be quite a hard task. Offer your help with holding the dress when she has to go to the bathroom.
- Hijack the Bride’s Cell Phone
Take the brides cell phone away from her on the day of the wedding and help her out by answering any phone calls or text message questions that she gets throughout the day.
- Keep the Bride’s Purse With You
Have the bride pack a mini purse with her for the day of the wedding and hold it for her. She can keep her cell phone in there and a lipstick or other things she wants close by.
- Remind the Bride to Have a Good Time
The bride may give in to a little of the wedding day chaos, but try to bring her back down to reality and keep making sure she has a good time.
- Enjoy Yourself Too
While being a Maid-of-Honor can be a lot of work, it should be a lot of fun too. Make sure throughout the process you’re enjoying yourself, as this truly is and should be the role of a lifetime.
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