6 Things to Know Before You Write Your Wedding Vows

Wedding Vows

May 22, 2024

Hi, Friend! Jen Glantz here. Before you write your wedding vows, there are a few things you want to consider. Wedding vows are not just a formality; they are a heartfelt expression of your love, commitment, and devotion to your partner. In this blog post, we will explore why wedding vows matter, what makes them good or bad, and provide you with six essential tips to help you create memorable and meaningful vows.

First things first, let’s talk about the basics. Here are some resources to check-out that can help you with all aspects of your wedding vows.

  • Need help? Try out our vow writing tool. It turns your stories, details, and thoughts into professionally written wedding vows.
  • Want to engage the audience? Book a 1:1 speech delivery session. We’ll coach you on how to recite your vows with confidence.
  • Looking for guidance on how to write your vows? Check out our in-depth vow writing guide.

wedding vow writing toolLet’s dive in! 


Why Wedding Vows Matter

Wedding vows are more than just words; they are a sacred promise between two people who have chosen to spend their lives together. These vows serve as a reminder of the love and commitment you share, not only on your wedding day but throughout your marriage. They are a public declaration of your intentions and a way to express your deepest feelings to your partner in front of your loved ones.

Moreover, wedding vows are a reflection of your unique relationship. They allow you to personalize your ceremony and make it more intimate and meaningful. By sharing your story, your hopes, and your dreams, you create a lasting memory that you and your partner will cherish forever.

Read this blog for a complete guide on how to write your wedding vows. 

what makes wedding vows good

What Makes Wedding Vows Good

Good wedding vows are sincere, heartfelt, and personal. They should reflect your genuine feelings and the essence of your relationship. When writing your vows, focus on the qualities you admire in your partner, the moments that have defined your love, and the promises you want to make for your future together.

Additionally, good wedding vows are well-structured and coherent. They should have a clear beginning, middle, and end, and flow naturally from one thought to another. Use simple, conversational language that is easy to understand and deliver with confidence.

Check out this blog that includes 100+ wedding vow examples for inspiration. 

What Makes Wedding Vows Bad

Bad wedding vows are generic, clichéd, and lack authenticity. They are often filled with overused phrases and empty promises that don’t reflect the unique nature of your relationship. Avoid using language that is too formal or complicated, as it can make your vows sound insincere and difficult to follow.

Another pitfall to avoid is making your vows too long or rambling. While it’s important to express your feelings, you don’t want to lose your audience’s attention or overwhelm your partner with an endless list of promises. Aim for concise, meaningful statements that capture the essence of your love and commitment.

Is the wedding soon? Read our blog on how to write last minute wedding vows.


6 Things to Know Before You Write Your Wedding Vows

Your wedding vows are one of the most intimate and meaningful aspects of your big day. They are a chance to express your love, commitment, and devotion to your partner in front of your closest friends and family. However, writing your own vows can be a daunting task, filled with pressure to find the perfect words to encapsulate your relationship. Before you put pen to paper, consider these six essential tips to help you craft vows that are heartfelt, memorable, and true to your unique love story.

6 Things to Know Before You Write Your Wedding Vows

1. You Don’t Have to Make Them Perfect

Perfection is an unrealistic goal when it comes to writing your wedding vows. Instead of striving for flawless prose, focus on expressing your genuine feelings and thoughts. Your vows don’t have to be a literary masterpiece; they just need to come from the heart. Remember, your partner loves you for who you are, not for your writing skills.

Example: “I promise to love you, even when I find your socks on the floor for the hundredth time. I vow to support you in your dreams, even if it means enduring your off-key singing in the shower.”

2. You Can Add in Humor

Injecting a bit of humor into your vows can help alleviate some of the nerves and make the moment more enjoyable for everyone. Don’t be afraid to share a funny anecdote or inside joke that showcases your unique bond. Just be sure to balance the humor with heartfelt sentiments to maintain the significance of the occasion.

Example: “I promise to always be your personal spider-catcher, even though I’m just as terrified of them as you are. I vow to love you unconditionally, even when you insist on watching reality TV shows that make me question our compatibility.”

3. They Don’t Have to Be Very Long

While it’s important to express your feelings, you don’t need to write a novel. Aim for vows that are around two minutes long, as this is the ideal length to keep your guests engaged and prevent yourself from rambling. Focus on the most important aspects of your relationship and the promises you want to make to your partner. According to Bridebook, your vows should be under 4-minutes.

Example: “I promise to be your partner in all things, to stand by your side through life’s joys and challenges. I vow to love you fiercely, to support you unconditionally, and to cherish every moment we share together.”

4. Start as Early as Possible

Don’t wait until the last minute to start writing your vows. Give yourself plenty of time to reflect on your relationship and gather your thoughts. Begin jotting down ideas, memories, and promises as soon as you can, and refine them over time. This will help alleviate stress and ensure that your vows are a true reflection of your feelings.

Example: “I’ve been thinking about this moment since the day I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I’ve spent countless hours recalling our adventures, our challenges, and the love we share, and I’m so excited to finally share my vows with you today.”

5. Try Writing Them as a Letter

If you’re struggling to get started, try writing your vows in the form of a letter to your partner. This can help you focus on your feelings and make the process feel more intimate and personal. Begin with a salutation, express your love and gratitude, and share the promises you want to make for your future together.

Example: “My dearest [Partner’s Name], Today, as we stand before our loved ones, I want to take a moment to express how much you mean to me. You have been my rock, my confidant, and my best friend. I am so grateful for your love and support, and I promise to cherish and adore you for the rest of our lives.”

6. Pick Your Words Wisely

When writing your vows, be mindful of the words you choose. Avoid clichés and generic phrases that don’t reflect the unique nature of your relationship. Instead, use specific details and anecdotes that showcase your bond and the qualities you admire in your partner. This will make your vows more meaningful and memorable.

Example: “I promise to always be your biggest fan, whether you’re pursuing your passion for photography or attempting to cook a gourmet meal. I vow to be your partner in adventure, from our spontaneous road trips to our lazy Sundays spent cuddling on the couch.”

Writing your wedding vows is a beautiful opportunity to express your love and commitment to your partner. By focusing on sincerity, personal details, and the promises you want to make, you can create vows that will be cherished for a lifetime. Remember, your vows don’t have to be perfect; they just need to come from the heart. So take a deep breath, trust in your love, and let your words flow. Your wedding day will be all the more special for it.

wedding vow writing tool


The Importance of Delivering Your Vows with Confidence

While the content of your vows is crucial, the way you deliver them is equally important. Speaking your vows with confidence and clarity can help convey the depth of your emotions and ensure that your message is well-received by your partner and your guests.

Want to engage the audience? Book a 1:1 speech delivery session. We’ll coach you on how to recite your vows with confidence.

Here are some tips to help you deliver your vows with poise and assurance.

vows with confidence

1. Practice, Practice, Practice

Rehearsing your vows is essential to feeling comfortable and confident on your wedding day. Practice reading your vows aloud, paying attention to your pacing, tone, and emotional delivery. You can even record yourself to identify areas for improvement and to help you internalize the words.

2. Speak Slowly and Clearly

When nerves set in, it’s common to speak more quickly than usual. However, rushing through your vows can make them difficult to understand and diminish their impact. Consciously slow down your speech, enunciate your words, and take brief pauses between sentences to allow your message to sink in.

3. Make Eye Contact with Your Partner

As you speak your vows, make eye contact with your partner. This intimate connection will help you stay focused, convey your sincerity, and create a powerful emotional bond. If you find yourself getting nervous, take a deep breath and remember that you’re speaking to the person you love most in the world.

4. Embrace Your Emotions

Wedding vows are inherently emotional, and it’s okay to let your feelings show. If you find yourself getting choked up or shedding a few tears, don’t be afraid to take a moment to compose yourself. Your guests will understand and appreciate the genuine display of love and commitment.

Your wedding vows are a beautiful testament to your love and commitment, and they deserve to be crafted and delivered with care and intention. By focusing on sincerity, personal details, and the promises you want to make, you can create vows that will be cherished for a lifetime. Remember to practice your delivery, speak from the heart, and let your emotions shine through.

Moreover, don’t let your vows end at the altar. Incorporate them into your daily life, display them in your home, and revisit them often to keep your love and commitment strong. Your wedding vows are not just words spoken on one special day; they are a lifelong promise to love, honor, and cherish each other through all of life’s joys and challenges.

Before you go, here are some resources to check-out that can help you with all aspects of your wedding vows.

  • Need help? Try out our vow writing tool. It turns your stories, details, and thoughts into professionally written wedding vows.
  • Want to engage the audience? Book a 1:1 speech delivery session. We’ll coach you on how to recite your vows with confidence.
  • Looking for guidance on how to write your vows? Check out our in-depth vow writing guide.

wedding vow writing tool

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