How to Write Wedding Vows That Will Make Him Cry (The Happy Kind)

You sit down to write. You’re ready. And suddenly… your mind goes blank. Every word you know disappears.

The pressure to sum up your entire relationship in a few minutes feels heavy. We’ve seen the panic set in countless times. Writing vows requires a mix of vulnerability, humor, and structure that most of us just aren’t used to navigating.

Quick Resources:

• Get help writing from scratch with the Wedding Vow Generator

• Explore everything available in All Wedding Tools

After filming over 750 weddings, the team at videography studio Motion Art has heard every kind of vow imaginable. Their takeaway? The ones that stand out aren’t the most poetic; they are the most genuine.

This guide is here to break that intimidating process down. We’re going to cover the mindset shift you need, how to gather inspiration, and the nitty-gritty of getting words on paper without fainting.

TL;DR

If you’re panic-scrolling and need the quick hits, here is the breakdown. (Though if you want the full deep dive, check out our ultimate guide to writing wedding vows).

The Essentials:

• Look Forward: Vows are promises about the future, not just a recap of the past.

• Be You: Authenticity beats perfection. If you’re funny, be funny. If you’re sentimental, be sentimental.

• Get Specific: “I love you” is nice. “I love how you make my coffee” is better.

• Structure It: You need a Hook, a Middle (promises), and a Closing.

• Read Aloud: You have to hear it to catch the tongue-twisters.

• Practice: Don’t let the ceremony be the first time you say these words out loud.

Getting in the Right Headspace

Before you grab a pen, stop thinking about the audience. You aren’t performing for the guests in the back row; you are talking to the person standing right in front of you. You need to shift from “speech mode” to “connection mode.”

Don’t worry about going viral. Focus on substance. It helps to understand the basics before you start, so take a look at these 6 things to know before you write your wedding vows to keep you grounded.

As wedding officiant Maricela Lazarit-Bonilla notes, the best ceremonies are built on a foundation of personalization and individual stories.

Start shaping vows that sound like you with the Wedding Vow Generator

What Are Vows, Really?

Vows are a contract. Toasts and speeches celebrate what has already happened, but vows are about what will happen. You aren’t just saying “I love you”; you are explaining what that love is going to look like on a random Tuesday morning ten years from now.

The Authenticity Factor

The most memorable vows sound exactly like the person speaking them. If you are naturally sarcastic, don’t try to write a Shakespearean sonnet. It will sound forced. Your vows should be a mirror of your personality.

The Pre-Writing Phase (Don’t Skip This)

Staring at a blank page is the worst. So, don’t. Gather your raw materials first.

The Brainstorming Checklist:

• [ ] The “Click” Moment: When did you realize he was the one?

• [ ] Hard Times: What is one difficult situation you navigated together?

• [ ] Quirks: What is a weird habit he has that you secretly adore?

• [ ] Future Vision: Picture yourselves at 80. What are you doing?

• [ ] The “Why”: List 3 qualities you respect about him.

Turn your notes into real promises using the Wedding Vow Generator

Reviewing Examples (But Not Copying)

Reading other people’s vows helps you figure out what you like and—more importantly—what makes you cringe. Use examples to analyze the rhythm, not to steal the words.

If you’re stuck, check out this list of 25 wedding vows for him or these modern examples to get the creative gears turning.

Mining Memories

Specificity is the secret sauce. Instead of saying “you are kind,” describe the time he drove three hours to help your stranded sister. To ensure your stories hit the right emotional note, try incorporating elements of an emotional wedding vow that focuses on deep connection.

Try turning a memory into a vow:

• The Memory: He always makes coffee for you in the morning because you are grumpy.

• The Vow: “I promise to appreciate every cup of coffee you place on the nightstand, acknowledging that your patience with my morning grumpiness is the truest form of love.”

Transform meaningful moments into vows with the Wedding Vow Generator

Tone and Length

Decide on the vibe early. Funny? Solemn? A mix? Also, agree on a word count with your partner so one of you doesn’t speak for 30 seconds while the other speaks for five minutes. Aim for about 2 to 3 minutes max, a benchmark supported by most pros in the field, including Maeck Weddings.

The Mechanics: Putting it Together

Most successful vows follow a narrative arc. This keeps you from rambling.

The Simple Structure:

1. The Hook: How you met, or how you feel right now standing at the altar.

2. The Middle: The “meat” of the vows. Specific promises and things you admire.

3. The Closing: A final, sweeping declaration of commitment and a look toward the future.

Follow a proven vow structure with help from the Wedding Vow Generator

Drafting Tactics

When you start writing, focus on swapping generic adjectives for specific actions. Inspiration can come from anywhere—even literature. For example, bride Buggy Valhouli crafted her vows around a poem that spoke to the beauty of the journey, as featured in Vogue.

It grounds the vow in reality.

Generic (Boring)	Specific (Better)
“You are my best friend.”	“You are the only person I want to binge-watch 90s sitcoms with on a rainy Sunday.”
“I will love you forever.”	“I will love you when we are 80, gray, and arguing about the thermostat.”
“You are so supportive.”	“Thank you for holding my hand through med school and eating burnt dinner without complaint.”

A Note on Humor:
Laughter and tears go hand in hand. If you have inside jokes, make sure they are quick, or explain them so the guests aren’t confused. Sandwich the humor between sincere sentiments to keep the moment grounded.

Polishing the Promises

Your first draft is never the final version. Read your vows out loud. It is the only way to catch awkward phrasing. If you stumble over a sentence in your living room, you will definitely stumble over it at the altar.

Refine and rewrite with confidence using the Wedding Vow Generator

Timing Check:
Time yourself reading at a slow, deliberate pace. If it takes more than three minutes, cut it down. Aim for 300 to 400 words maximum to keep the energy high.

The Vow Book:
Transcribe your final vows into a nice vow book or on card stock. Please, do not read from a crumpled piece of paper or a cell phone. It ruins the photos!

Execution: Speaking from the Heart

The best writing in the world falls flat if you mumble through it.

The “Grounding” Technique
If you feel your voice shaking, stop. Take a breath. Look directly at your partner’s eyes (or their forehead if eyes are too intense), not the paper. A 5-second pause feels like an eternity to you, but to the audience, it just looks like a poignant, emotional moment.

Vocal Projection & Body Language
Even with a microphone, you need to project to the back of the room. Stand tall, shoulders back, and hold the vow book at chest level so you don’t block your face from the photographer.

Day-Of Checklist:

• [ ] Hydrate: But stop 30 mins before the ceremony!

• [ ] The Book: Ensure the Maid of Honor has it (and the backup).

• [ ] Mic Check: Test the height during rehearsal.

• [ ] Posture: Shoulders back, chin up.

When Writer’s Block Hits Hard

Sometimes the words just won’t come. That’s okay.

At Bridesmaid for Hire, we offer AI wedding tools designed to help generate personalized vows, or coaching services if you just need a human to bounce ideas off of.

Break through writer’s block with the Wedding Vow Generator

Try this AI prompt:
Instead of asking AI to “Write my vows,” try: “Give me 5 metaphors for a love that is steady and calm.” Use the result (e.g., “Love is an anchor in a storm”) as a prompt to write your own personal story.

Final Thoughts

Writing your vows is a journey from the heart to the page. It requires vulnerability, honesty, and a little bit of editing. Take a deep breath, trust your gut, and write the promise only you can make.