25 Best Man Speech Quotes That Will Make You Look Like a Genius

There’s an old joke that a best man speech shouldn’t last any longer than it takes the groom to consummate the marriage. That usually gets a laugh, but it doesn’t help with the actual panic of holding a microphone in front of a hundred staring faces. You’re looking at a blank page, watching the calendar dates fly by, wondering how to be funny and sentimental without accidentally humiliating yourself (or the groom).

The pressure is real. You want to honor your friend, impress their new partner, and hopefully earn a free drink from a bridesmaid or groomsman later. But here’s the good news: you don’t need to reinvent the wheel. Sometimes the perfect words have already been written. We’ve pulled together a list of killer best man speech quotes and examples to help you fill that blank page and look like a genius while doing it.

Turn these quotes into a complete best man speech with our Best Man Speech Generator

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TL;DR

If you are skimming this five minutes before the reception starts (we’ve all been there), here is the cheat sheet:

• Context is everything. Read the room before you drop a joke.

• Skip the “ball and chain” humor. It’s dated, and nobody laughs at it anymore.

• We’ve got 25 quotes below categorized by what they do: break the ice, make people cry, or wrap things up.

• Authenticity wins. If a quote sounds too poetic for you, don’t use it.

• If you’re truly stuck, there are pros who can ghostwrite this thing for you.

Before You Copy-Paste: The Rules of Engagement

Think of a quote like hot sauce. A dash kicks the meal up a notch; dump the whole bottle on there, and you’ve ruined dinner. You can’t just string five famous sayings together and call it a speech. You have to think about the couple you are celebrating. A cynical joke is going to crash and burn if they are high-school sweethearts, just like deep, flowery poetry might feel weird for a couple that bonds over roasting each other.

Not sure which quotes actually fit? Use the Best Man Speech Generator to match your tone

Check out our list of 8 things a best man shouldn’t do at a wedding to keep yourself out of the doghouse. You want to enhance the moment, not kill the vibe.

Couple Dynamic	Tone to Aim For	Tone to Avoid
High School Sweethearts	Nostalgic, “it was destiny,” supportive	Cynical, “marriage is a trap” jokes
The Roast Masters	Playful, witty, banter-heavy	Overly flowery, Shakespearean poetry
The Power Couple	Respectful, team-oriented, ambitious	Diminishing the partner or making them sound like a burden
The Opposites Attract	Humorous contrast, balancing forces	Jokes implying they actually hate each other

Build a speech that fits the couple perfectly with the Best Man Speech Generator

We also need to talk about the “Cringe Factor.” Old-school tropes that paint marriage as a prison or the partner as a burden just don’t land well these days. Consider where the quote fits best—is it a cold open? A bridge between stories? A closer? Just keep it real. Pick something that actually sounds like it would come out of your mouth.

If you are known for being the class clown, pivoting to 18th-century poetry is going to confuse everyone. When you nail the delivery, the best man toast becomes the highlight of the night.

The Context Trap:
Imagine using the quote “Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn’t even have when you were on your own” for a couple who just supported each other through a major life tragedy.

Why it fails: It reads as tone-deaf and dismissive of their actual bond.
The Fix: Save the cynical humor for the couple that argues over what to order for dinner, not the couple that just survived a crisis.

Finally, remember who is listening. Your content needs to work for the Flower Girl and Grandma.

Icebreakers That Won’t Bomb

You need to cut the tension and secure that crucial first laugh. These quotes lean on realism and humor to lower the stakes in the room. If you need more inspiration, look through these short funny wedding speeches to find your rhythm.

Create a strong opening using the Best Man Speech Generator

Using one of these quotes early on signals to the crowd that they can relax—this isn’t going to be boring.

1. The Anniversary Amnesia

“Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” – Ogden Nash.

This works perfectly if the groom is known for being a bit scatterbrained. It pokes fun at his lack of organization while giving props to the partner’s patience.

2. The Accidental Philosopher

“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates.

A classic for a reason. If the groom isn’t exactly a deep thinker, this creates a funny contrast that usually gets a good chuckle from the crowd.

3. The Spark of Reality

“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” – Erma Bombeck.

This one has a bit of an edge. It fits a best man with a dry, deadpan delivery style who wants to subvert the usual “fairy tale” mushiness.

4. The Joy of Annoyance

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner.

This is the ideal choice for couples who share a playful, roasting dynamic. It celebrates their chemistry without getting too sappy.

5. The Sensory Deprivation Strategy

“A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.” – Michel de Montaigne.

Deliver this one with a smile so everyone knows you’re joking. It’s a great setup to highlight specific quirks, like the groom’s questionable fashion sense or the partner’s “selective hearing.”

Hitting Them Right in the Feels

Once the laughter dies down, you want to pivot to a sincere moment. These quotes help you get sentimental without making things awkward.

6. Looking Outward

“Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.

Excellent for couples who work together, travel together, or are building a business. It frames their marriage as a team sport.

7. The Only Remedy

“There is no remedy for love but to love more.” – Henry David Thoreau.

Short and punchy. It addresses the reality that marriage takes work, and the solution to the hard days is simply doubling down on the love.

8. Holding On

“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” – Audrey Hepburn.

This is a universally safe and beloved quote. It works for any crowd and serves as a gentle reminder of what actually matters amidst the chaos of the wedding planning.

9. Dividing Joy

“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.” – Mark Twain.

Use this to highlight how the partner has improved the groom’s life. It frames the marriage as a way to amplify everything good.

10. Strength and Courage

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu.

A deep, philosophical compliment. Use it for a serious moment where you acknowledge the positive changes you have seen in the groom since he met his partner.

Quote Style	Best Used For…	Avoid If…
Philosophical (Lao Tzu)	A groom who has matured significantly; serious moments.	The groom is a total goofball; it might sound fake.
Classic Romantic (Hepburn)	Traditional weddings; mixed generations; playing it safe.	You want to be edgy or the couple is non-traditional.
Team Oriented (Saint-Exupéry)	Couples who run a business together or travel the world.	The couple is very independent or has separate hobbies.

Need help choosing the right quote? Try the Best Man Speech Generator

Wisdom for the Groom (Whether He Listens or Not)

This section is for direct advice from you to your buddy. These quotes allow you to drop some knowledge without sounding preachy. For a broader look at structuring your advice, check out our best man speech guide.

11. Falling in Love Repeatedly

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin.

Timeless advice. It emphasizes that the groom needs to keep “dating” his partner long after the wedding cake is cut.

12. The Ultimate Friendship

“Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.” – Franz Schubert.

This is the perfect transition. It allows you to pivot from talking about your friendship with the groom to celebrating his new “best friend.”

The Pivot Strategy:
Start with: “Mike, you’ve been my best friend since we were six. We’ve been through scraped knees, bad haircuts, and that questionable college road trip…”
Transition with Quote: “But as Franz Schubert said, ‘Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.'”
Land the point: “I’m happy to step down to second place, because I know Sarah is the best friend you could ever ask for.”

13. The Daily Grind

“Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start it all over again every morning.” – H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Great for a groom who values hard work or the outdoors. It grounds the concept of marriage in daily effort rather than just romance.

14. The Secret

“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” – Henny Youngman.

A funny “anti-advice” option. It works well if you are single or feel unqualified to give marital advice—get a laugh out of your own cluelessness.

15. Eyes Wide Open

“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” – Benjamin Franklin.

Practical advice about picking battles. It tells the groom to let the little things slide now that the commitment is made.

Winning Over the Partner (And the Crowd)

Complimenting the new spouse is the fastest way to win over the audience. If you make the partner smile, you’re golden. These quotes do the heavy lifting for you.

16. The Essential Person

“You don’t marry the person you can live with—you marry the person you can’t live without.” – Unknown.

A classic for a reason. It hits that high emotional note that says the groom literally cannot function without his partner.

17. No Heart Like Yours

“In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.” – Maya Angelou.

Use this to voice the romantic feelings the groom might be too shy to express himself. It adds a layer of depth to the speech instantly.

18. The Hundred Minus One

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” – A.A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh).

Nostalgic and sweet. It evokes a “storybook” vibe that audiences universally love.

19. Joined for Life

“What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life?” – George Eliot.

This is a bit more formal. It works well for traditional or black-tie weddings where you need a bit of gravity.

20. Sun, Moon, and Stars

“You are my sun, my moon, and all my stars.” – E.E. Cummings.

Short, impactful, and beautiful. It positions the partner as the center of the groom’s universe.

The Grand Finale: Raising a Glass

The closing toast needs to be structured and rhythmic. These quotes are designed specifically to signal the end of the speech and get everyone to drink (which is what they are waiting for anyway). Before you wrap up, check these wedding toast mistakes to avoid so you don’t trip at the finish line.

A strong best man toast anchors the sentiment of the entire speech. You want to leave them with something memorable.

Toast Component	Purpose	Duration
The Signal	Use phrases like “If everyone could please rise” to command the room.	5-10 Seconds
The Quote	Insert one of the quotes below to anchor the sentiment.	15-20 Seconds
The Call to Action	“To the Bride and Groom!” (Get them to drink).	5 Seconds

Here are five options for your final best man toast.

21. Modern Yet Timeless

“May your love be modern enough to survive the times, but old-fashioned enough to last forever.” – Unknown.

The perfect balance for right now. It acknowledges the modern world while respecting the tradition of the commitment they just made.

22. The Irish Wish

“May you live as long as you like, and have all you like as long as you live.” – Irish Blessing.

A total crowd-pleaser. It works exceptionally well if there is Irish heritage involved, but the sentiment is universal enough for any wedding.

23. The Timeline Toast

“Here’s to the past, for all that you’ve learned. Here’s to the present, for this beautiful moment. And here’s to the future, for all that you look forward to.”

This structure covers all bases. It provides a clear rhythm that makes it easy for the audience to follow along and raise their glasses.

24. The Roof and The People

“May the roof above you never fall in, and those gathered beneath it never fall out.” – Irish Blessing.

This highlights the communal nature of the event. It acknowledges the guests in the room as a support system, making everyone feel included in the wish.

25. The Wine Toast

“May your love be like good wine, growing richer and stronger as the years go by.”

A classic staple. It is simple, elegant, and impossible to mess up, making it the safest bet for a strong closing.

Still Sweating? Here’s Your Secret Weapon

Having a list of quotes is only half the battle; weaving them into a story that doesn’t sound disjointed is the hard part. Are you feeling the pressure of the “Best Man” title and worrying about stumbling over your delivery? If you’re struggling to put it all together, you can even generate a best man speech with AI tools to get a solid first draft in seconds.

Turn your favorite quotes into a polished, crowd-ready best man speech with the Best Man Speech Generator

But sometimes you need a human touch. That is where Bridesmaid for Hire comes in. Despite the name, Jen Glantz and her team offer comprehensive wedding support that extends to the best man. We offer professional speech-writing services and AI wedding tools that can help turn these quotes into a personalized speech in minutes.

We also offer coaching to help navigate public speaking anxiety. Think of it as your “secret weapon” to delivering a killer speech without the groom ever knowing you had professional help.

The Professional Polish:
Your Draft: “So, uh, yeah. Love is great. Like that guy Thoreau said, just love more. Cheers.”
The “Secret Weapon” Revision: “I stumbled across a quote by Thoreau that says, ‘There is no remedy for love but to love more.’ And seeing the way you two look at each other tonight, I know you’ve already found the cure for anything life throws your way.”

Go Crush That Speech

The audience wants you to succeed—nobody wants to watch a guy bomb. The groom just wants to know you have his back. Pick a quote that resonates with you, practice the delivery, and speak from the heart. You have the tools, now go get the applause. And remember, if you nail the toast, the open bar tastes that much better.