25 Modern Wedding Vows That Ditch the Script and Speak From the Heart

Hey there! Jen Glantz here. As a professional speech writer, I’m excited to share 10 modern wedding vow examples with you.

Let’s be real: everyone loves the open bar and the dance floor, but the words you say at the altar are the actual reason we’re all here. While guests definitely look forward to the reception, most couples say their vows were the highlight of the day.

I was at a wedding last year watching a groom struggle through a script that clearly wasn’t his. He was stumbling over old-fashioned words like “plight thee my troth” that didn’t fit his personality at all. It was awkward for him, and honestly, a little awkward for us to watch. You want your moment to feel real, not like a bad community theater audition. This guide is here to help you ditch the script and write promises that actually sound like you.

Quick Resources:

• Write vows that sound like you with the Wedding Vow Generator

• Explore the full suite of planning help in All Wedding Tools

We’re going to cover everything from the new rules of writing to specific examples that fit your relationship dynamic. Whether you’re blending families, looking for true partnership, or just want to keep it short and sweet, these templates will help you say exactly what you mean without the fluff. Let’s get it sorted.

TL;DR

In a rush? Here’s the gist. Wedding vows in 2024 are about prioritizing honesty over tradition and partnership over obedience. The old scripts just don’t match how we live today.

• Authenticity wins: Ditch the “thees” and “thous.” Use the language you use at the dinner table.

• Partnership is key: Focus on being a team rather than fitting into gender-specific boxes.

• Keep it real: Acknowledge that marriage is work. Promise to show up for the messy days, not just the Instagrammable ones.

• Short is sweet: Aim for 1–2 minutes. Trust me, nobody wants a 10-minute speech.

• Inclusivity matters: If you have kids or pets, mention them! This is their family too.

Feature	Traditional Vows	Modern Vows
Tone	Formal, solemn, scripted	Conversational, personal, authentic
Focus	Duty, obedience, roles	Partnership, friendship, equality
Structure	Rigid templates	Flexible, storytelling-based
Content	Abstract promises	Specific, real-life commitments
Duration	Very short (repeat after me)	1–2 minutes (personal speech)

The New Rules of Engagement

Before you start writing or picking from the list below, you have to understand the vibe shift. We aren’t reciting old poems anymore. The criteria for a great vow have changed to reflect how relationships actually work. There are 6 things to know before you write your wedding vows to ensure you hit the right emotional notes. While classic vows have their place, modern vows allow you to actually connect with the person standing in front of you.

Turn your real relationship into vows using the Wedding Vow Generator

Authenticity Over Tradition

Your vows should sound like a conversation. If you’re the funny one in the relationship, crack a joke. If you’re the sentimental one, lean into the tears. The goal is consistency. You want your partner to recognize the person speaking to them.

Try the “Text Message” Test: Look at the last 10 texts you sent your partner. Analyze the vocabulary. If you usually call them “babe” and joke about tacos, but your vows address them as “my dearest beloved” and talk about “eternal flames,” it’s going to sound weird. Bridge the gap. Try something like: “I promise to love you, even when we’re fighting over the last slice of pizza.”

Translate everyday language into vows with the Wedding Vow Generator

Equality and Partnership

Old-school vows often emphasized obedience or rigid roles. We’re moving away from that. Whether you’re writing for him, her, or them, the focus is on mutual respect. You’re promising to be a partner in all things, sharing the load equally.

Realism vs. Idealism

Disney movies are great, but marriage happens in the real world. The “Realist” approach acknowledges that things will get tough. A strong modern vow promises support during the mundane moments—the bills, the chores, the bad days—rather than focusing solely on the highlight reel. Build your vows for the long haul.

Length and Flow

Attention spans are short. You don’t need a ten-minute monologue to prove your love. The sweet spot is between one and two minutes. You need a clear beginning, a middle section with your promises, and a strong ending. Keep it punchy: “I promise to show up, every day, ready to love you.”

Vows for the Equal Partner

These vows focus on mutual growth, career support, and shared ambition. They are perfect for couples who view their marriage as a collaboration between two capable individuals. It’s less about “two becoming one” and more about “two whole people making a great team.”

Traditional Phrase	Modern “Equal Partner” Update
“I promise to obey you.”	“I promise to support your decisions.”
“To have and to hold.”	“To grow and build with.”
“Till death do us part.”	“Through every season of our lives.”
“For richer or for poorer.”	“Through all our successes and challenges.”

Create balanced, modern promises with the Wedding Vow Generator

1. The Growth Mindset Vow

“I promise to encourage your compassion, and I will always respect your independence. I vow to grow alongside you, never holding you back, celebrating your wins as if they were my own, and reminding you of your worth when you forget it.”

2. The Safe Harbor Vow

“In a chaotic world, I promise to be your calm. I vow to be the partner you can lean on when the world feels heavy, to listen without trying to fix everything immediately, and to build a home where we both feel safe to be our true selves.”

3. The 50/50 Vow

“I promise to share the load of our life together equally. I will not just help you with our life; I will co-create it. From the exciting adventures to the daily chores, I am your partner in all things, big and small.”

4. The Individual & The Team Vow

“I promise to love you for who you are today and for who you will become. I vow to protect your individuality while we strengthen our union, knowing that two whole people make the strongest team.”

Vows for the Best Friend

Marriage is basically a really, really long friendship. These vows lean into humor and the fun side of being together. They work well if you want to break the tension and make your guests smile (and maybe wipe a tear at the same time).

5. The Travel Companion Vow

“I promise to be your favorite travel companion, whether we are flying across the world or just navigating the grocery store. I vow to hold your hand during turbulence and to always let you have the window seat.”

6. The “Sunday Morning” Vow

“I promise to love you on the glamorous Saturday nights, but especially on the lazy Sunday mornings. I vow to make you coffee, laugh at your bad jokes, and never start a new TV series without you.”

7. The “Weird” Vow

“I love that you are the only person who understands my weirdness. I promise to always be the person you can be your goofiest self with, to never judge your guilty pleasures, and to keep life fun, even when it gets serious.”

Pro-tip: When writing “Best Friend” vows, use the 80/20 rule. 80% of the vow should be understandable to all the guests, and only 20% should be specific inside jokes. If you say, “I promise to remember the blue iguana incident,” everyone else is going to be confused. Instead try: “I promise to always be your partner in adventure, even when our trips go totally off the rails.”

Blend humor and heart easily using the Wedding Vow Generator

8. The “No Scorekeeping” Vow

“I promise to be your best friend first and your spouse second. I vow to forgive quickly, to never keep score of who did what, and to always assume you have the best intentions.”

Vows for the Realist

These promises acknowledge that marriage is hard work. They are powerful because they strip away the fluff and focus on commitment during the difficult times. It’s about grit, not just romance.

9. The Choice Vow

“I promise to choose you every single day. On the days when it’s easy, and especially on the days when it is hard to like you. I vow to wake up and actively decide to love you, over and over again.”

10. The Conflict Resolution Vow

“I promise that when we fight—and we will—I will fight for us, not against you. I vow to listen more than I speak and to prioritize our relationship over being right.”

11. The “Seasons of Life” Vow

“I vow to hold your hand through the seasons of life that we cannot predict. Through job changes, aging parents, financial shifts, and health scares, I promise to be the constant in your ever-changing world.”

12. The Vulnerability Vow

“I promise to be vulnerable with you, even when it’s scary. I vow to drop my defenses, to admit when I am wrong, and to trust you with my deepest fears and highest hopes.”

Vows for the Minimalist

Short, punchy, and profound. These are excellent if you are nervous about public speaking or simply prefer to say more with less. You can find inspiration in these 25 short wedding vow examples that pack a punch without the length.

13. The Present Moment Vow

“I take you as you are, loving who you are now and who you are yet to become. I promise to listen, to learn, and to love you fiercely.”

14. The “Home” Vow

“Wherever you are is my home. I promise to build a life of laughter, patience, and adventure with you, starting right now.”

15. The Simple Promise

“I promise to be your honest partner, your faithful friend, and your biggest fan. I give you my hand and my heart, freely and forever.”

16. The Anchor Vow

“You are my anchor and my sail. I promise to keep you grounded while encouraging you to explore. I love you.”

Write short, powerful vows in minutes with the Wedding Vow Generator

Vows for the Modern “His & Hers”

Let’s flip the script on the traditional gender roles. These remove the stereotypes while acknowledging the different ways you support each other. When crafting your vows, focus on your unique dynamic, not what society expects you to say.

17. The Modern Protector

“I promise to protect your dreams as fiercely as I protect your heart. I vow to be strong enough to carry you when you are weary, but soft enough to cry with you when you are hurting.”

18. The Modern Nurturer

“I promise to nurture your ambition and your spirit. I vow to create a space where you never have to pretend to be strong, and where you are loved for your vulnerability as much as your strength.”

19. The “Safe Space” Vow

“I promise to be the person you can unzip your soul to. No masks, no pretending. Just us, exactly as we are.”

20. The “Partner in Crime”

“I promise to be your accomplice in all of life’s mischief. To support your wildest ideas and to be the one cheering the loudest when you succeed.”

Vows for the Blended Family

A wedding often unites more than just two people. These vows are essential for couples with children, pets, or just a really tight-knit community. It’s about acknowledging the whole village.

21. The Stepparent Vow

“I promise not only to be a good spouse to you but to be a patient, loving, and supportive bonus parent to [Child’s Name]. I vow to earn their trust and to build a family founded on love, not just DNA.”

Idea: If you are blending families, consider crouching down to the child’s eye level after your vows to your spouse. Offer a specific “Micro-Vow” just for them. Something like: “And to Leo, I promise to always read you bedtime stories, to help you build the tallest Lego towers, and to be a safe place for you to land, always.”

22. The Pet Parent Vow

“I promise to love you, honor you, and always help walk the dog or feed the cat, even when it’s raining and I’m already in bed.”

23. The “Village” Vow

“I promise to welcome your family and friends as my own, knowing that our marriage is supported by the village around us. I vow to keep our door open and our table full.”

24. The Legacy Vow

“I promise to build a legacy of kindness with you. Whether through children, our work, or our community, I vow that the love we share will ripple out and make the world a little brighter.”

25. The “Us Against the World” Vow

“I promise that no matter who enters or leaves our lives, we remain the core. We are a united front, a family of two (plus [pets/kids]), facing the world together.”

Why These Styles Work

Still wondering which category fits you best? Think about your personality. The “Equal Partner” vows score high on realism—stripping away the “obey” aspect for active support. If you want to break the tension, the “Best Friend” vows are authentic and tone-perfect. For those who want to show maturity, the “Realist” vows address the “for worse” parts of marriage without being depressing. Minimalist vows are perfect for flow and conquering stage fright. Finally, the Blended Family vows score highest on inclusivity, acknowledging that your union affects a whole ecosystem of people.

Your Personality	Recommended Vow Style	Why It Fits
The Power Couple	Equal Partner	Highlights shared ambition and mutual respect.
The Jokers	Best Friend	Uses humor to diffuse tension and show authenticity.
The Pragmatists	Realist	Focuses on commitment through the “hard stuff.”
The Introverts	Minimalist	Short, impactful, and less nerve-wracking to speak.
The Parents	Blended Family	Ensures children feel secure and included in the union.

How to Get Unstuck

Staring at a blank page is terrifying. You might feel the pressure to be a professional writer, a therapist, and a comedian all at once. This is where Bridesmaid for Hire steps in. Jen Glantz founded the brand to be the support system you didn’t know you needed. We help you craft vows that resonate and sound like you, not a Hallmark card.

Break writer’s block instantly with the Wedding Vow Generator

Use the Right Tools

We actually launched a suite of over 100 AI Wedding Tools specifically designed to help you write personalized marriage vows in minutes. It takes the writer’s block out of the equation so you can focus on the sentiment. You can check out our library of wedding vow speech templates to give you a structural head start. Whether you need vows for him, her, or them, these tools work wonders to get the ball rolling.

Get Unbiased Feedback

Your maid of honor is busy, and let’s be honest, your mom probably has too many opinions. Jen Glantz and the team act as an honest, unbiased pair of ears. We help you refine your vows so they sound authentic. If you are looking for something truly unique, explore these creative wedding vow ideas to spark your imagination.

Manage the Stress

Writing vows is often the most stressful part of the ceremony preparation. By hiring a professional to help manage your wedding to-do list, you free up mental space to focus on the emotional weight of your promises rather than the logistics.

Final Thoughts

Your vows are the anchor of the entire day. Whether you choose to be funny, serious, or brief, the only thing that matters is that you mean it. Take a deep breath, pick a style that feels right, and speak from the heart. You’ve got this.