One of the first monster-sized decisions you’ll have to make when you become a bride-to-be is about whom you’d like to have as your trusty, non-fussy crew of bridesmaids.

 

When you sit down to sort out who you’re going to ask to take on this gigantic honor, you may feel like you’ve entered round one of a Fantasy Football draft (or this season’s Bachelor draft) or that you’re trying to pick your team for gym class kickball and you’re terrified to hurt anyone’s feeling by not calling their name.

 

Figuring out who should be a bridesmaid is a tough task, especially when your roster of dear friends and close family members can make a classroom feel crowded.

 

So unless you want to end up with a conga line of bridesmaids that wraps around the temple or church you’re getting married in, stick with these three tips when picking your line up of gal pals.

 

1. Use The Elevator Trick

Imagine you’re stuck in an elevator for 4 hours without any food, phone service, or air conditioning. I know, I know that sounds like an awful thing to close your eyes and imagine. But when you’re thinking about being in that situation, feeling anxious, overwhelmed, and slightly annoyed, quickly name the people you wish were in the elevator with you. Those are the people you may want to consider making your bridesmaids. Weddings can get stressful and suffocating at time. Surround yourself only by people who can help you make the best of that situation and not add to the chaos.

 

2. Ask the Ones You Want By Your Side

If you’re going through reasons why you need to ask that person, or that person, or that person and if those reasons are: because they asked me, because they’ll never speak to me again if I don’t, because I can’t ask one person and not the other, it’s best to take a step back. Ask only the people you want by your side. Not the people you feel like you have to ask because you’re returning a favor or avoiding a future conflict.

 

3. Chat With Your Fiancé

See how many groomsmen they are thinking of having. You 100% absolutely do not have to have an equal amount of people on both sides, but it may help to set a limit. If your groom-to-be is keeping his groomsmen to a small number that may give you the push you need to keep your bridal party at less people than on a football team.

 

Jen Glantz is a “Professional Bridesmaid” and the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire. She’s the author of All My Friends Are Engaged and frequently wears old bridesmaid dresses to the grocery store and on first dates. Her forthcoming book, Always a Bridesmaid (For Hire), will be released in Summer 2016.