25 Brother of the Bride Speech Jokes That Will Steal the Show (Without Getting You Disowned)

Hey there, best brother! Jen Glantz here. As a professional speech writer, I’m ready to help you nail those brother of the bride speech jokes. Let’s make your brother of the bride speech memorable with some perfectly timed humor!

We’ve all seen those wedding speeches on TikTok that go viral—the ones where the brother reveals a 20-year-old family secret, racking up over three million views while the whole room erupts. But let’s be real: while going viral sounds cool to some, most of us just want to survive the toast without starting a family feud or putting the guests to sleep before the salad hits the table.

I know the feeling. You’re standing there, mic in hand, stuck between the appetizers and the dance floor. You want to be funny and memorable, but you also want to make sure you’re still invited to Thanksgiving dinner next year.

Quick Resources:

• Write your speech with the Brother Of The Bride Speech Generator

• Explore the full suite of All Wedding Tools

If you’re staring at a blank page, don’t panic. This isn’t about becoming a stand-up comedian overnight; it’s just about having the right material. Below, I’ve put together everything you need, from timing tips to the actual jokes, to make sure you crush it. (And if you want the full deep dive on etiquette and structure, you can check out our complete brother of the bride speech guide).

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Before You Grab the Mic: The Ground Rules

You can’t just wing this. Unlike the Best Man, who can usually get away with being a little rowdier, the brother of the bride has a weird line to walk. You have to be protective but welcoming, funny but sweet.

Before you commit to a joke, run it through these four filters. Trust me, they will save you from the kind of awkward silence that haunts you for years. It’s also worth skimming these common wedding toast mistakes to avoid just to be safe.

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1. The “Grandma Test”

This is the big one. If your grandmother (or that one super-conservative aunt) would clutch her pearls, cut the line. Seriously. Keep the stories about ex-boyfriends, wild college nights, or anything suggestive out of the speech. You want people laughing, not gasping.

Instead of saying she got wasted in Cancun, say she “discovered a hidden talent for interpretive dance on a table.” It gets the same point across, but keeps it classy enough for the older crowd.

2. Is it a Roast or a Toast?

There’s a difference between poking fun and causing emotional damage. The goal is to laugh with your sister, not make her want to hide under the table. Avoid deep insecurities or actual family drama. If the punchline makes her look bad, toss it. If it highlights a quirky habit she has? Keep it.

3. Keep it Current

If you make a joke about a rotary phone or a cassette tape, you’re going to lose half the room. Make sure your references actually land in the current year. If the guests have to Google what you’re talking about, the moment is gone.

4. Read the Room on the Groom

How well do you actually know the guy? If you’re best friends, feel free to roast him a little harder. But if you only met him six months ago, play it safe. You don’t want to start your brother-in-law relationship by offending him in front of 150 people.

If you don’t know him well, make yourself the punchline. Say something like, “I haven’t known [Groom] long, but I know he’s smarter than me. He got her to agree to marry him; I can’t even get her to agree on a pizza topping.”

The Cheat Sheet: 25 Jokes You Can Steal

I’ve broken these down by “vibe” so you can mix and match. Whether you want to lean into the sibling rivalry or get a little sentimental, grab the ones that fit your style.

For even more inspiration beyond this list, you can browse our collection of hilarious wedding speech jokes to find the perfect one-liner.

Organize the jokes into a smooth flow with the Brother Of The Bride Speech Generator

The “Sibling Rivalry” Angle

These are great for breaking the ice and establishing that, yes, you grew up fighting, but you love her.

1. The Favorite Child
“Growing up, our parents always told us we were equals. But looking at this wedding budget versus what I got for my graduation party… I think we finally have a definitive answer on who the favorite is.”

2. The Bathroom Survivor
“I’ve prepared [Groom] for a lot of things today. But nothing can prepare a man for the amount of hair products and lotions that are about to invade his bathroom counter. I lived with her for 18 years; I’m technically a survivor.”

3. The Fake Tough Guy
“As her big brother, it’s my job to intimidate the groom. But let’s be honest, look at [Groom]. He’s got a 401k and understands the stock market. The only thing I can intimidate him with is my knowledge of Ninja Turtles lore.”

4. Clearing Your Name
“[Bride] was always the one getting me in trouble. So, Mom, Dad, just for the record: The vase incident of 2008? That was her. I’m clearing my name today. This is my wedding gift to myself.”

5. The No-Refund Policy
“To [Groom], welcome to the family. I just want to be clear about the warranty policy. You’ve signed the papers, the deal is sealed. There are strictly no returns or exchanges. She’s your problem now—I mean, blessing. She’s your blessing.”

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Modern Life & Dating

If they met on an app or are glued to their phones, lean into it. It’s relatable and keeps the speech from feeling dated.

6. The AI Confession
“I was really nervous about this speech, so naturally, I asked AI to write it for me. It suggested I say, ‘I have always been secretly in love with the bride.’ So… I think technology still has a few glitches to work out.”

7. The Cost of Love
“They say love is priceless. But looking around at these floral arrangements, I think we can all agree that love actually costs about as much as a mid-sized sedan in this economy.”

8. The Influencer
“I know [Bride] is happy today. Not just because she’s marrying the love of her life, but because she finally has professional lighting and a photographer to document her outfit for Instagram. #Blessed.”

9. The Swipe Right
“It’s a modern fairytale. Boy meets Girl. Boy swipes right. Girl swipes right. And thanks to an algorithm and a decent WiFi connection, we are all here drinking champagne today.”

10. The Netflix Oath
“I knew it was true love when [Bride] told me she watched an entire season of a show without [Groom] and he didn’t break up with her immediately. That is forgiveness on a biblical level.”

Focusing on the Groom

You need to welcome the new addition to the family. Make him feel welcome, but keep it light.

11. The Sympathy Vote
“I’d like to propose a toast to [Groom]. Not just for being a great guy, but for willingly choosing to listen to my sister’s stories about her coworkers for the rest of his life. You are a brave, brave man.”

12. The Upgrade
“They say girls look for a man who reminds them of their father or their brother. Looking at [Groom], I’m offended. He’s taller, smarter, and has a much better hairline than I do. You really upgraded, sis.”

13. The Sports Lie
“I only had one condition for letting [Bride] marry [Groom]. He had to support [Sports Team]. He lied and said he did. I know he’s lying, but the open bar is open, so I’m choosing to look the other way.”

14. The Background Check
“When [Bride] first brought [Groom] home, I did what any responsible brother would do. I stalked his LinkedIn, Instagram, and Venmo history. I’m happy to report he pays his debts and has a steady job. You passed the audit, man.”

15. The User Manual
“I’ve actually written up a user manual for [Bride]. Chapter 1: Do not speak to her before coffee. Chapter 2: ‘Fine’ never means ‘Fine.’ Chapter 3 is just a list of pizza places that deliver after midnight.”

Self-Deprecation (The Safety Net)

If you’re nervous, make fun of yourself. It instantly makes the crowd like you and lowers the tension.

16. The Single Brother
“It’s emotional watching my little sister get married before me. If anyone needs me later, I’ll be at the singles table explaining to my aunts why I’m still living with a roommate.”

17. The Nervous Speaker
“[Bride] told me I had to be funny, charming, and brief. So, I’m currently 0 for 3, but I’m going to keep going anyway.”

18. The Bad Advice
“They asked me to give marriage advice. I’m single and I eat cereal for dinner three times a week. So my advice is: Don’t listen to me. Listen to [Bride], she’s usually right anyway.”

19. The Tuxedo
“I’m not used to wearing a tuxedo. I feel completely out of my element. But for [Bride], I’d wear a tutu if she asked. Thankfully, she settled on this.”

20. Here for the Cake
“I’m mostly here for the cake. The fact that my sister found a soulmate is really just a nice bonus to the free meal.”

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Sentimental (But Not Cheesy)

You want to land the speech with emotion, but you do not want to bring the mood down too much. These jokes provide a heartfelt moment that ends with a laugh to keep the energy high.

21. The “I Love You” Pivot
“I love my sister. She is kind, smart, and beautiful. And I’m not just saying that because she threatened to uninvite me if I didn’t.”

22. The Parents’ Relief
“I look at our parents today and I see tears of joy. Mostly because the wedding planning is finally over and their bank account can start healing.”

23. The Third Wheel Retires
“I’ve been the third wheel on a lot of their dates. I’m happy to announce my official retirement. [Groom], she’s all yours. I’ll be expecting a severance package.”

24. Partners in Crime
“We’ve been partners in crime since we were kids. But today, she’s got a new partner. [Groom], if she suggests anything illegal, just know she runs faster than you.”

25. The Closer
“May your life together be full of love and laughter, and may your arguments be short and totally forgotten by the time the pizza arrives. Cheers!”

Still Freaking Out?

Even with a solid list of jokes, putting them together into a speech that actually flows can be terrifying. If you’re staring at this list and sweating, that’s where Bridesmaid for Hire comes in.

Jen Glantz and the team offer professional speech writing services (and some cool AI tools) that help you turn a jumbled mess of thoughts into a toast that sounds like you, just… polished. Whether you need a full ghostwriter or just a quick coaching session to make sure your delivery isn’t robotic, they’ve got you covered.

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If you are feeling overwhelmed, you can explore our professional wedding speech coaching services to get personalized assistance.

Final Thoughts

The audience wants you to win. They aren’t judging your stand-up skills; they’re just happy to be there. Pick the jokes that feel real to your relationship, take a deep breath, and go make your family proud.

Whether you are aiming for funny wedding toasts or funny bridesmaid speeches, confidence is your best asset. You’ve got this.