25 Brilliant Clerihew Poem Examples That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

Hi, Friend! Jen Glantz here. I’m a bestselling author, the first ever bridesmaid for hire and have been hired by hundreds of brides all over the world. Let’s talk about clerihew poem examples.

I recently fell down a 2 AM internet rabbit hole—you know the kind—where I went looking for literary trivia and ended up stumbling across something called the “clerihew.”

According to the Classical Poets Society, a clerihew is a specific type of short, biographical verse consisting of two rhyming couplets. But honestly? It’s basically a poem that thrives on being awkward.

Quick Resources:

• Write a polished toast fast with the AI Wedding Speech Generator

• Explore the full suite of planning help with All Wedding Tools

I tried writing one immediately. It ended up being a four-line disaster about my refrigerator that didn’t even rhyme.

That failure sparked a bit of an obsession. I wanted to find the ones that actually worked. So, I’ve pulled together a collection of the absolute best examples of this quirky art form. The secret to a good clerihew is that it feels like it’s about to fall apart, which is exactly why it’s my favorite type of poetry.

How to Write a Clerihew (Without Trying Too Hard)

Before we get to the examples, let’s look at how these things actually work. A clerihew isn’t just a random four-line stanza. It was invented by Edmund Clerihew Bentley, and while it’s a sub-genre of wit, it has rules. If you enjoy other brilliant epigram poems, you’ll get the vibe quickly.

The Rules:

1. It’s four lines long.
2. The rhyme scheme is AABB (the first two lines rhyme, and the last two rhyme).
3. The first line must end with the subject’s name (or just be the name).
4. It has to be biographical, but in a trivial or slightly mocking way.

Feature	Clerihew	Limerick
Rhyme Scheme	AABB (Couplets)	AABBA
Rhythm	Irregular, clunky, conversational	Bouncy (da-da-DUM, da-da-DUM)
Vibe	Mocking famous people	Usually bawdy or nonsensical

While they share some DNA with limericks, the clerihew is distinct because the meter should feel clunky. If the rhythm is too perfect, it ruins the joke. It’s a caricature, not a biography.

Turn awkward ideas into a polished toast with the AI Wedding Speech Generator

Here is the “Do It Yourself” formula if you want to give it a shot:

The DIY Formula:

1. Line 1: Pick a name (e.g., Brad Pitt).
2. Line 2: Force a rhyme, no matter how bad (e.g., Was never a hit).
3. Line 3: State a weird fact (e.g., He rarely wore shoes).
4. Line 4: Finish the joke (e.g., When reading the news).

The Result:
Brad Pitt
Was never a hit.
He rarely wore shoes,
When reading the news.

25 Brilliant Clerihew Poem Examples

I’ve broken these down by category so you can see just how versatile this silly little format is. We’ve got everything from dusty old authors to modern billionaires.

Get help writing something intentional with the AI Wedding Speech Generator

Category A: The Literary Giants

Classic authors are perfect targets for this because they usually take themselves so seriously. Much like honest poems expose the truth, these clerihews strip away the prestige and focus on the quirks.

1. Sir Christopher Wren

This is the OG—the very first example by E.C. Bentley.

“Sir Christopher Wren
Said, ‘I am going to dine with some men.
If anyone calls
Say I am designing St. Paul’s.'”

Why it works: It takes a massive historical achievement (designing a cathedral) and turns it into a throwaway excuse to get out of a phone call.

2. Jane Austen

Jane Austen
Was often lost in
Thoughts of a groom
While sitting in her room.

The Vibe: A little harsh? Maybe. But the forced rhyme of “Austen/lost in” is classic clerihew style. It pokes fun at the irony of her writing the world’s best romances while staying single herself.

3. Edgar Allan Poe

Edgar Allan Poe
Shivered in the snow.
“It is cold,” he said,
“I would rather be dead.”

The Vibe: It’s funny because it’s so mundane. You expect Poe to be brooding about ravens and hearts under floorboards, but here he’s just complaining about the weather like the rest of us.

4. William Shakespeare

William Shakespeare
Spilled his beer.
“A tragedy!” he cried,
And then he died.

The Vibe: The Bard gets humanized. Rhyming “tragedy” with a clumsy beer spill is exactly the kind of low-stakes drama that makes these poems fun.

5. Charles Dickens

Charles Dickens
Loved raising chickens.
He found them quite sweet,
But terrible to eat.

The Vibe: Imagining a serious Victorian author tending to a coop in his backyard just brings him down to earth.

Category B: Historical Figures

History books are boring. These poems are not. They take massive figures and reduce them to their weirdest habits.

6. Henry the Eighth

Henry the Eighth
Had very little faith.
He chopped off a head,
Before going to bed.

The Vibe: Dark humor at its finest. It summarizes a terrifying reign in four punchy lines.

7. Napoleon Bonaparte

Napoleon Bonaparte
Loved a good tart.
He ate them in France,
While doing a dance.

The Vibe: We usually picture Napoleon with his hand in his coat, looking stern. Picturing him dancing with a pastry ruins that image in the best way possible.

8. George Washington

George Washington
Weighed a ton.
His horse would say,
“Please walk today.”

The Vibe: It shifts the perspective to the horse, which is just silly. It’s physical comedy in verse.

9. Karl Marx

Karl Marx
Loved picnics in parks.
“The grass is free!”
He shouted with glee.

The Vibe: The father of Communism getting excited about free grass? That’s a solid joke.

10. Cleopatra

Cleopatra
Ate too much pasta.
She said with a sigh,
“I cannot lie.”

The Vibe: Is it historically accurate? Absolutely not. But rhyming “Cleopatra” with “pasta” is so awkward it loops back around to being genius.

Category C: Modern Tech & Business

Billionaires are ripe for satire. These poems take the “Masters of the Universe” and make them sound like toddlers.

11. Elon Musk

Elon Musk
Worked until dusk.
“Mars must be red,”
Is what he said.

The Vibe: It frames the desire to colonize a planet as a simple interior design preference.

12. Mark Zuckerberg

Mark Zuckerberg
Hit an iceberg.
The Metaverse froze,
From its head to its toes.

The Vibe: A nice little metaphor for tech glitches. Plus, rhyming Zuckerberg with Iceberg is low-hanging fruit, but you have to take it.

13. Jeff Bezos

Jeff Bezos
Bought new clothes.
“Does this yacht float?”
He asked his boat.

The Vibe: It highlights the disconnect between billionaire problems and real-world problems. “Does this yacht float?” is a question only one tax bracket asks.

14. The AI Chatbot

The AI Chatbot
Liked art a lot.
It drew a hand,
With six fingers planned.

The Vibe: If you’ve ever seen AI art, you know this struggle. It’s a timely jab at our new robot overlords.

15. Bill Gates

Bill Gates
Hates dinner dates.
“I must update Windows,”
As the wind blows.

The Vibe: Prioritizing a Windows update over human interaction? Sounds about right for the stereotype.

Category D: Pop Culture Icons

Celebrity culture moves fast, but these poems capture the essence of the stars we see every day.

16. Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift
Has a special gift.
Break her heart,
And it becomes art.

The Vibe: Meta-commentary on her songwriting. It’s not mean, just accurate.

17. Harry Styles

Harry Styles
Walked for miles.
“I need a vest,”
He told the rest.

The Vibe: Focusing on fashion rather than music feels correct for Harry. The man loves a vest.

18. Beyoncé

Beyoncé
Had a lot to say.
She dropped a beat,
And stopped the street.

The Vibe: Acknowledging that she can basically stop the rotation of the earth just by releasing a single.

19. The Kardashians

The Kardashians
Followed the fashions.
They posed for a pic,
Which happened real quick.

The Vibe: A satirical look at influencer fame—where the primary job description is “posing.”

20. Gordon Ramsay

Gordon Ramsay
Is rarely pansy.
“This fish is wet!”
He screamed, upset.

The Vibe: You can practically hear him yelling this. The “wet/upset” rhyme captures his chaotic kitchen energy perfectly.

Category E: The Wedding Party

Okay, this is where things get real. If you’ve been to a wedding recently, these might feel painfully familiar. If you’re looking for short funny wedding speeches, the clerihew is actually a great format because it forces you to be brief!

Upgrade from jokes to something meaningful using the AI Wedding Speech Generator

21. The Groom

The Groom
Paced round the room.
“I forgot the ring!”
Was a terrible thing.

The Vibe: Pure panic. We’ve all seen that look in a groom’s eye.

22. The Bride

The Bride
Tried to hide.
Her dress was too wide,
So she stayed inside.

The Vibe: The classic “puffy dress” problem. It’s a funny visual of the bride getting physically stuck in her own gown.

23. The Best Man

The Best Man
Had no plan.
He stood up to speak,
And felt very weak.

Avoid winging it by writing your toast with the AI Wedding Speech Generator

The Vibe: The secondhand embarrassment of watching a Best Man wing his speech is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

24. The Mother-in-Law

The Mother-in-Law
Found a small flaw.
“The napkins are blue,”
She shouted at you.

The Vibe: It’s always the napkins, isn’t it? This captures the micromanagement that drives couples crazy.

25. The Bridesmaid

The Bridesmaid
Was very afraid.
She held up the train,
In the pouring rain.

The Vibe: The thankless nature of the job. You’re basically a glorified coat rack in bad weather.

Fixing the Awkwardness with Bridesmaid for Hire

Reading through that last category probably gave you flashbacks. Weddings are full of awkward rhythms and forced rhymes, just like a bad clerihew. You have the “Best Man” with no plan and the “Mother-in-Law” shouting about blue napkins.

Get a confident, clear speech using the AI Wedding Speech Generator

I built Bridesmaid for Hire to solve exactly these types of chaotic moments. Think of us as the editors of your wedding day.

You don’t have to suffer through a bad speech or a mental breakdown. If you are the “Best Man” from example #23, our AI wedding tools can write personalized speeches and vows in minutes so you don’t sound like a nervous wreck. We even offer wedding speech coaching services to make sure you nail the delivery.

The Vow Transformation:

• The Clerihew Approach (Don’t do this):
  “My darling Groom,
  I hope our love has room.
  Please don’t leave your socks on the floor,
  Or I will show you the door.”
• The Professional Approach:
  “My darling Groom, today I promise to not only share my life with you but to build a home where we both feel cherished. I vow to be patient with your habits, just as you are with mine, and to greet every challenge with love rather than an exit strategy.”

Write vows that sound like you with the AI Wedding Speech Generator

For the “Bride” stuck in her dress, I am the pro who can fix a bustle in three minutes flat. I manage the family dynamics so you don’t have to. Whether you need maid of honor coaching or a professional to stand by your side, we turn the amateur poetry of wedding planning into a smooth operation.

Final Thoughts

Clerihew poems prove that imperfection is funny. They thrive on clunky meters and bad rhymes. But your wedding day shouldn’t operate on those same principles. Enjoy the poems for the laughs, but maybe leave the planning to the pros who know how to keep the rhythm smooth. and nothing else