Planning a wedding comes with a lot of up and down moments. There are times when you feel like you are on-track and everything is going as planned. But then, there are nights, afternoons, and even hours before you’re supposed to walk down the aisle, when you feel like everything is falling apart.
As a Bridesmaid for Hire, I’ve stood beside many brides before and during their wedding, as they took their first few steps toward saying I DO to their forever person. I’ve been the one picking a bride up from the tile floor, during a pre-ceremony meltdown, sitting down the rest of the bridal party and debriefing them on what their duties really are during the wedding adventure, and the one who serves as their on-call therapist, wedding emergency fixer, and very personal assistant.
In the past two years of working this job, here are the top ten things I’ve learned that all brides would benefit from knowing.
- Things Will Go Wrong
At every single wedding I work as a professional bridesmaid, no matter how many times the bride has confirmed with vendors or double-checked her to-do list, something goes wrong. No day is ever perfect, and brides-to-be, go easy on thinking your wedding day will come together without a hiccup! Things here and there may not end up like you desperately wanted them to, but the best way to carry on and enjoy your big day, is to brush them off and smile at the things going right. The truth is, your guests will never notice if the napkins are the wrong shade of off-white or if your centerpieces are an inch shorter than you designed them to be.
- Your Bridesmaids Need a Little Guidance
Before they were your bridesmaids, they were your dearest friends or closest family members. Just because they said I Do to taking on this bridesmaid role, doesn’t mean they know what to do and when to do it. The first couple of times I was a bridesmaid for my friends, I made every single mistake out there (I brought lingerie to the bridal shower and I waited until the month before the wedding to order my bridesmaid dress). Help your bridesmaids out by letting them know what kinds of help you’ll need throughout the wedding adventure.
- Spend Quality Time in Your Dress Pre-Wedding
The first time you’ll put on your dress for more than 30-minutes is on your wedding day. But the problem with that is you won’t feel comfortable moving around in it. I remind brides to put on the dress the day they take it home and try to dance in it and practice going to the bathroom in it. That might sound silly and gross, but in all honesty, peeing in a wedding dress is a process. I’ve spent 45 minutes in a bathroom with a bride once, helping her get her dress on and off so she could tinkle. It’s always good to build a bathroom strategy before your wedding, and that requires putting the dress on and taking it for a stroll around the potty.
- Walk a Mile in Your Wedding Shoes
As a bride-to-be, chances are you’ve picked out wedding day shoes that are all about the glitz and the glam, and not so much about the comfort. I usually go through an entire box of Band-Aids at a wedding, helping patch up the bride’s feet after spending just 1-hour in her wedding shoes during photos and the ceremony. It’s always a good idea to find shoes that are comfortable and if you can, walk around in them a lot before the day of the wedding so your feet can adjust.
- Stay True to Your To-Do List
Planning a wedding can be stressful and a lot of times, brides will have panic attacks many months and weeks before their big day comes around. I’ve sat on the phone with brides for hours trying to calm their nerves and also dig down to the root of what’s causing most of their stress. Time and time again, it’s the very same thing; they aren’t staying organized and have multiple to-do lists all over the place. The best thing you can do, as a bride-to-be, is create a Google doc with all your wedding tasks jotted down. On that list, also include deadlines for each task, so you know the priority of what needs to get done and when it needs to get done.
- Don’t Be All Wedding, All the Time
It can feel fun and exciting picking and choosing every single detail of your wedding, but it’s important to not let it consume your life. Spend time relaxing, moving forward with your regular hobbies and having conversations with your friends about things that don’t involve wedding vendor problems or wedding registries. It’s always best, as a bride, to designate one or two days a week that are just reserved for wedding tasks. The rest of the week should be for everything and anything else.
- Keep Your Eyes Open on Your Wedding Day
Stay present and alert at your wedding. Instead of wondering what’s going to happen next or who hasn’t arrived in time for the ceremony, enjoy every single moment. The biggest regret most brides have is not enjoying their own wedding. So instead of worrying about how the night will unfold, spend the time just gazing into the eyes of the love of your life and hugging hello your wedding guests.
- Choose Your Battles
When things go wrong, vendors make a mistake, or you find out one of your wedding guests brought an uninvited plus one, instead of loosing your cool about it on the wedding day, let it go. Deal with it when the wedding is over. Tell yourself, ahead of time, that things will not go as planned and people may even upset you, but it’s your day and you are going to have the greatest time – no matter what.
- Avoid Bridezilla Moments
A lot of times, brides find themselves transforming into bridezillas without even realizing it. To make sure you don’t find yourself taking on that infamous reputation, ask one of your close friends to let you know if you’re starting to do things out of line or ask your bridal party for things that are ridiculous.
- Remember Why You’re Doing This in the First Place
Weddings can be stressful, filled with pressure, and gigantic money-suckers, but they don’t have to be. Always remember why you’re planning this wedding to begin with and stick with those
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